Showing posts with label Quivering Daughters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quivering Daughters. Show all posts

Sunday, December 5, 2021

The Language of Cults. Duggars and Quiverfull: How to Communicate with People Outside of the Subculture


First published on 6Sep15



How do we define a cult in respect to the Duggars and Quiverfull?

I wrote all kinds of material that never made it into Hillary McFarland's Quivering Daughters book, but I was grateful to many people who peer reviewed my contributions to it.  Along with concerns about technical accuracy, I also wanted to see how people without intimate knowledge of religion or homeschooling would respond to the material.

I began to more deeply appreciate two primary lessons regarding the discussion of the issues involved with the Patriarchy/Quiverfull Movement.



Lesson One

Though I knew this in theory, the experience of reading the feedback impressed upon me so strongly that people outside of a closed subculture with specialized language need information and terminology that they can process.  People in the secular culture understand patriarchy already, so that gives people a frame of reference.

The term 'quiverfull' presents enough of a novel hook which helps people remember it.  A 'quiver' conjures images of Robin Hood and his mastery with bow and arrow, and the association between his image and that of a family creates enough of a memorable hook for those who've never heard of the Bible verse from which the term was borrowed.  Both terms "sell" the information and create a reason for people to listen and/or care.

Thursday, March 7, 2019

Zelophehad's Daughters

Originally appeared in 2010 at Quivering Daughters.com

An acquaintance of mine asked me what I knew of some of the ideas that neo-patriarchy had about unmarried women living alone. I explained that some sectors within patriarchy maintain that Numbers 30 requires unmarried adult women to have an assigned male overseer who is accountable for her and her affairs. Others in these circles maintain that all woman require a male as her a protector at all times to remain both spiritually and physically safe. Some actually extend this concept to support their idea that a woman who works outside the home (for a man other than father or husband) commits a form of adultery by serving the vision and efforts of another man.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Mother's Day Outside of the Cruel Quiver

CLICK TO ENLARGE
This past year, I saw this meme that my best friend put up on social media. I am so happy for her and I'm so glad that she let me be a part of her life. She let me share in her family life, and her children, now grown, are still precious to me. She's now a grandma, and I am so happy for her – and it was so sweet to see her kids play aunt and uncle.

Another friend of mine has been overjoyed with her adult children, is about to become a grandma, and she is so thankful for and proud of her daughters. She shared a card that her daughter sent to her, and my heart was just so happy for her. And it's so significant to me because the parenting she received was lacking in so many ways. Lots of neglect. Lots of abuse. I think she also takes joy in watching her daughters conquer their corners of the world and expresses that joy so freely. (It's something that seems so foreign to me from my own experience as a daughter.)

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Leaving the Quiver Behind

For the young adult who emerges from a high demand religious household, there's so much grieving (anger, depression, etc), backtracking and adjusting to do that the reconciliation that parents desire takes longer than they would like. Reconciliation doesn't always happen, either.

 The process takes the survivor of this Patriarchy/Quiverfull mess years to process things after growing up in it, and the parent has to go through their own (very different) grieving as well.  Making sense of the rift takes time and work, and it's often difficult to devote oneself to healing and reuniting with parents while forging ahead with one's own life.  And it basically sucks.  It's well worth doing, but it's painful, and it's work.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A New Review of Quivering Daughters by Midwest Christian Outreach



The new book review, Quivering Daughters Shakes Roots of Un-Biblical Patriarchy, appears in the Spring 2011 installment of the MCO Journal (Volume 17, No. 1).

From the Summary by E. Stephen Burnett:

Christians intent on finding Biblical foundations for male/female and husband/wife roles and avoiding junk to either extremeof previous “church-ianity” strains—evangelical feminism or chauvinism—will find QD [Quivering Daughters] a solid place to start.

Friday, June 25, 2010

My First Entry in my Quivering Daughters Diary







Post originally published at UnderMuchGrace.com June 2010 as :

My First Entry in my Quivering Daughters Diary

Embarking on the Journey through Hillary McFarland's New Work 

I started out the day and kept checking the door to make sure that the "UPS man" had not escaped my attention, and maybe he came and left my book at the door without knocking.  Hopeful that my book might arrive yesterday, I checked the UPS tracking number that I'd received from the bookseller by email.  It was in Pennsylvania at 7:36AM , at least a ten hour drive away at that point, so I was sure that it would not arrive that day.  (I was excited and obsessed enough to actually go to the UPS website to see where the book was.  Am I nutz?  Rhetorical question.. Please don't send me emailsWe already know.

I'd made several trips down the stairs to check my doorway for the book by the time the knock came!  The only time I've ever been this excited about something coming in the mail has been when I received my Nursing Board results in the summer of '86, and I kissed the mailman when I opened the letter!  I also watched the mail like a hawk for my engagement ring that my husband sent via regular post from half-way across the country in '88.  (He didn't insure it, and it took over a week to arrive.)  Rather than kiss the UPS man today, to express my excitement and gratitude, I gave him a pretty little gift box of Choxie candy that I'd picked up at Target (on clearance, of course ;). 

I’d called Hillary on the phone, as we’d arranged in advance to open our packages while we had each other on the phone, acting like excited, silly school girls.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Announcing Quivering Daughters!


Though I haven't seen the actual book yet, I just got word from Hillary McFarland that "Quivering Daughters" is now available to order online.  (I feel like a family friend, visiting a new mother, waiting to get a chance to hold the new baby after waiting so long to see the new little bundle of wonder.  How wonderful it is to think about who this new person God just brought into my life will be as I get to know them.)

Currently, Barnes and Noble has the best price, but Amazon also offers the book as well, and the selling prices seem to fluctuate for some unknown reason.  ???  Both sites offer free shipping for orders over $25, so why not order two books?

Addendum Note:  If you use a Discover Card and go through the Shop Discover page at the DiscoverCard.com website, at the time of this posting, you can earn a 10% Cash Back Bonus when you buy through Barnes and Noble.  The free shipping offer still also applies.

I haven't figured out how I'm going to go about making the offer, but I want to give away a few of the books to the readers here.

Probably in about a month, I will have figured out some creative way to have some kind of raffle or something.

Any ideas?