What Goes on In the Soul of Those Who Abuse For the Cause of the Greater Good?

What Goes On in the Soul

of the Spiritual Abuser?

This question, more than any, other troubled me very much as I healed and continue to heal from my realization of spiritual abuse.

Delving deep to find these answers perhaps impeded my own healing in some ways, though after many years of pursing true forgiveness, I believe I also needed to search out the answers for my own well-being and acceptance. When one has been deeply wounded, I believe it is natural to ask questions about why someone was motivated or why they neglected to notice how profoundly they wounded us. I found it troubling to realize that there were essentially no simple answers to these questions.

Tweet

Braiker on the Machiavellian Personality

From Harriet Braiker in

"Who's Pulling Your Strings"

The Machiavellian Personality

One of a few manipulative “Usual Suspects”

(Pg 85-87) 

In the early 1970s, psychologist Richard Christie and his colleagues identified a distinct personality style that is characterized by manipulativeness, cynicism about human nature and shrewdness in interpersonal behavior. Named after the sixteenth-century political philosopher and Italian Prince Machiavelli, this personality style is very nearly synonymous with being a manipulator. 

Tweet

Recovering from Con Artists

From Captive Hearts, Captive Minds

by Tobias and Lalich
pg 65:

To heal from a traumatic experience of this type, it is important to understand who and what the perpetrator is. As long as there are illusions about the leader's motivation, powers and abilities, those who have been in his grip deprive themselves of an important opportunity for growth: the chance to empower themselves, to become free of the tyranny of dependency on others for their well-being, spiritual growth, and happiness.

Tweet

Profile of a Psychopath (characteristics of some, but not all, spiritual abusers)

Not all spiritual abusers are psychopaths, but many of them do demonstrate these traits and behaviors that are common to psychopaths. It is wise to be familiar with the characteristics when considering new situations wherein you are a subordinate. Tobias and  Lalich (pgs 72 - 79) offer these defining characteristics of the psychopath (with comments also copied from their text), based on the writings of both Hervey Cleckley and Robert Hare.:

Tweet

Paranoia in a Spiritual Abuser

From the "Master Manipulator" section in
"Captive Hearts, Captive Minds":


Paranoia may be evident in simple or elaborate delusions of persecution. Highly suspicious, they may feel conspired against, spied upon or cheated, or maligned by a person, group or governmental agency. Any real or suspected unfavorable reaction may be interpreted as a deliberate attack upon them or the group. (Considering the criminal nature of some groups and the antisocial behavior of others, some of these fears may have more of a basis in reality than in delusion!)

Harder to evaluate of course, is whether these leaders' belief in their... connection to God (or whatever higher power or belief system they are espousing) is delusional or simply pare of the con. Megalomania -- the belief that one is able or entitled to rule in the world -- is equally hard to evaluate without psychological testing of the individual, although numerous... leaders state quite readily that their goal is to rule the world. In any case, beneath the surface gloss of intelligence, charm and professed humility seethes an inner world of rage, depression and fear.

Tobias and  Lalich

Tweet

Psychopathic Features of Spiritual Abusers

Of the many features that characterize spiritual abusers, the traits of psychopathy and/or sociopathy often emerge and are worthy of examination and consideration. Many professionals use the terms synonymously, as many consider sociopathy as distinct and separate from psychopathy, based upon the focus of the affected person's behaviors and personality traits. A sociopath suggests prominent display of traits and behavior in a social setting.

Psychopathy describes a person who is self-oriented or self-absorbed, demonstrating various degrees of lack of empathy and consideration of others as a result.

Tweet

The Charisma of the Spiritual Abuser

From Captive Hearts, Captive Minds, (pg 68)



For the ... leader, having charisma is perhaps the most useful during the stage of... formation. It takes a strong-willed and persuasive leader to convince people of a new belief, then gather the newly converted around him as devoted followers. A misinterpretation of the... leader's personal charisma may also foster his follower's belief in his special or messianic qualities.

So we see that charisma is indeed a desirable trait for someone who wishes to attract a following.... Certainly at the time a person is under the sway of charisma, the effect is very real. Yet, in reality, charisma does nothing more than create a certain worshipful reaction to an idealized figure in the mind of the one who is smitten.

In the long run, skills of persuasion (which may or not be charismatic) are more important to the... leader than charisma -- for the power and hold of cults depend on the particular environment shaped by the thought-reform program and control mechanisms, all of which are usually conceptualized by the leader. Thus it is the psychopathology of the leader, not his charisma, that causes the systematic manipulative abuse and the exploitation...

Madeline Landau Tobias and Janja Lalich

Tweet

Who Becomes a Spiritual Abuser?

From Captive Hearts, Captive Minds, (pgs 66-67)

As people begin to describe their special, enlightened, and unique "guru" -- be he a pastor, therapist, political leader, teacher, lover, or swami -- they are quickly surprised to find that their once-revered leaders are really quite similar in temperament and personality. It often seems as if these leaders come from a common mold....

Along with a dramatic and convincing talent for self-expression, these leaders have an intuitive ability to sense their followers' needs and draw them closer with promises of fulfillment. Gradually, the leader inculcates the group with his own private ideology (or craziness!), then creates conditions so that his victims cannot or dare not test his claims....

Through psychological manipulation and control, cult leaders trick their followers into believing in something, then prevent them from testing and disproving that mythology or belief system.

Madeline Landau Tobias & Janja Lalich

Tweet

The Authoritarian Power Dynamic

Abusive relationships require and "thrive" off of an imbalance of power within a relationship or within a group. The subordinates serve the needs of the person who holds authority over them. Though not all authoritarian systems and relationships are abusive and harmful, it is important to learn to recognize authoritarian systems and those who have authoritarian personality and management styles. Spiritual abusers always prefer authoritarianism and have an authoritarian traits. Lalich and Tobias offer this list of authoritarian traits in Captive Hearts, Captive Minds:

• tendency to hierarchy
• the drive for power (and wealth)
• hostility, hatred, prejudice
• superficial judgments of people and events
• a one-sided scale of values favoring the one in power
• interpreting kindness as weakness
• the tendency to use people and see others as inferior
• a sadistic-masochistic tendency
• incapability of being ultimately satisfied
• paranoia

List adapted from Ivan Volgyes in The Cult of Power: Dictators in the Twentieth Century;

Editor Joseph Held; East European Monographs, 1983. pgs 23-39

Tweet

Characteristics of a Spiritual Con Artist

Continuing on with the Con Artist theme, here are some additional thoughts on the cult leader as con artist. This paragraph from Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: Freedom from Cults and Abusive Relationships echos the information that Whitlock presents, describing how no one really recognizes a good confidence trickster and never acknowledges the fact that they have been misused at all. The willing participant cooperates with the process, interpreting any ill consequences as a result of their own behavior, never attributing any fault to the con artist.

From Captive Hearts, Captive Minds, (pg 65):

In cults and abusive relationships, those in a subordinate position usually come to accept the abuse as their fault, believing that they deserve the foul treatment or that it is for their own good.

They sometimes persist in believing that they are bad rather than considering that the person upon whom they are so dependent is cruel, untrustworthy, and unreliable. It is simply too frightening for them to do that: it threatens the balance of power and means risking total rejection, loss, and perhaps even death of self or loved ones. This explains why an abused cult follower may become disenchanted with the relationship or the group yet continue to believe in the teachings, goodness and power of the leader.

Even after leaving the group or relationship, many former devotees carry a burden of guilt and shame while they continue to regard their former leader as paternal, all-good, and godlike... The same phenomenon is found in battered women and in children who are abused by their parents or older adults they admire.

Tweet