What Goes on In the Soul of Those Who Abuse For the Cause of the Greater Good?

What Goes On in the Soul

of the Spiritual Abuser?

This question, more than any, other troubled me very much as I healed and continue to heal from my realization of spiritual abuse.

Delving deep to find these answers perhaps impeded my own healing in some ways, though after many years of pursing true forgiveness, I believe I also needed to search out the answers for my own well-being and acceptance. When one has been deeply wounded, I believe it is natural to ask questions about why someone was motivated or why they neglected to notice how profoundly they wounded us. I found it troubling to realize that there were essentially no simple answers to these questions.

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Profile of a Psychopath (characteristics of some, but not all, spiritual abusers)

Not all spiritual abusers are psychopaths, but many of them do demonstrate these traits and behaviors that are common to psychopaths. It is wise to be familiar with the characteristics when considering new situations wherein you are a subordinate. Tobias and  Lalich (pgs 72 - 79) offer these defining characteristics of the psychopath (with comments also copied from their text), based on the writings of both Hervey Cleckley and Robert Hare.:

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Paranoia in a Spiritual Abuser

From the "Master Manipulator" section in
"Captive Hearts, Captive Minds":


Paranoia may be evident in simple or elaborate delusions of persecution. Highly suspicious, they may feel conspired against, spied upon or cheated, or maligned by a person, group or governmental agency. Any real or suspected unfavorable reaction may be interpreted as a deliberate attack upon them or the group. (Considering the criminal nature of some groups and the antisocial behavior of others, some of these fears may have more of a basis in reality than in delusion!)

Harder to evaluate of course, is whether these leaders' belief in their... connection to God (or whatever higher power or belief system they are espousing) is delusional or simply pare of the con. Megalomania -- the belief that one is able or entitled to rule in the world -- is equally hard to evaluate without psychological testing of the individual, although numerous... leaders state quite readily that their goal is to rule the world. In any case, beneath the surface gloss of intelligence, charm and professed humility seethes an inner world of rage, depression and fear.

Tobias and  Lalich

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Psychopathic Features of Spiritual Abusers

Of the many features that characterize spiritual abusers, the traits of psychopathy and/or sociopathy often emerge and are worthy of examination and consideration. Many professionals use the terms synonymously, as many consider sociopathy as distinct and separate from psychopathy, based upon the focus of the affected person's behaviors and personality traits. A sociopath suggests prominent display of traits and behavior in a social setting.

Psychopathy describes a person who is self-oriented or self-absorbed, demonstrating various degrees of lack of empathy and consideration of others as a result.

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Characteristics of a Spiritual Con Artist

Continuing on with the Con Artist theme, here are some additional thoughts on the cult leader as con artist. This paragraph from Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: Freedom from Cults and Abusive Relationships echos the information that Whitlock presents, describing how no one really recognizes a good confidence trickster and never acknowledges the fact that they have been misused at all. The willing participant cooperates with the process, interpreting any ill consequences as a result of their own behavior, never attributing any fault to the con artist.

From Captive Hearts, Captive Minds, (pg 65):

In cults and abusive relationships, those in a subordinate position usually come to accept the abuse as their fault, believing that they deserve the foul treatment or that it is for their own good.

They sometimes persist in believing that they are bad rather than considering that the person upon whom they are so dependent is cruel, untrustworthy, and unreliable. It is simply too frightening for them to do that: it threatens the balance of power and means risking total rejection, loss, and perhaps even death of self or loved ones. This explains why an abused cult follower may become disenchanted with the relationship or the group yet continue to believe in the teachings, goodness and power of the leader.

Even after leaving the group or relationship, many former devotees carry a burden of guilt and shame while they continue to regard their former leader as paternal, all-good, and godlike... The same phenomenon is found in battered women and in children who are abused by their parents or older adults they admire.

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