Counter Cult Witnessing Induced Cognitive Dissonance Part III: Reducing Discomfort with Ego Defenses and Fallcies

Click to link to Part I and to Part II.

The English word “ego” derives from the Latin word for “I,” and in a general sense, it refers to a person’s sense of personal importance. Some Christians may bristle at the first consideration of this concept, thinking that it means an inflated self-importance; however, it defines a healthy balance in terms of protective self-interest. A human being must have a degree of self-interest for survival; otherwise, they would experience a dysfunctional fatalistic despair and a sense of futility. Jesus instructed to love one’s neighbor as one loves and cares for self, and from this, I believe that the Bible supports its own concept of ego or what some define as “self-esteem.” I don’t necessarily agree with the whole concept of “ego” as some theories in psychoanalysis define the term, but I find a great deal of value in the general concept from the way Scripture relates it. The next verse that comes to my own mind was written by Paul in his Letter to the Ephesians, instructing men to love their wives in the way that they love, care, and provide for their own bodies. Love and care of others flows from the intrinsic sense of love and care that one naturally has for one’s self.

When a person senses that their integrity or psychological safety has been threatened, they employ a host of possible responses that help to preserve their integrity. Certain professional disciplines assign the term “ego defense mechanisms” to these various responses which are like psychological strategies that help us navigate through the stressors. Whenever we encounter new information that does not strongly support what we already know or when we learn that others differ from us, our “ego” feels at risk. To help preserve our sense of self so that we can learn and cope, ideally, we do so in a way that is appropriate for our age and the situation at hand. Depending on how deep the threat feels to us, how many supportive resources we have available to us in the moment, and how strong we feel at the time, we often adapt by relying upon defense mechanisms of an earlier phase of development.

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Counter-Cult Witnessing Induced Cognitive Dissonance Part II: Thoughts About Motive

(If you haven’t already, please read Part I HERE.)

There are many resources out there about helping people who are in aberrant religious groups, but I wanted to outline my own observations and thoughts about motive (that I’ve recently considered for my own benefit!).

Before I write anything about motive, I’d like to mention something that is of the utmost importance to me. Not everyone will share my opinion on this point, but I believe strongly that the most effective resource you have in your possession when trying to help someone out of a manipulative group is that of prayer. In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, he says that the words of the Bible are foolishness without the spiritual discernment of the Holy Spirit. In the same way, I believe that in addition to encouraging your friend to think for themselves again, you need to pray for them and for you. For the person in bondage, I pray that the Word will be effective and ask God to mightily show Himself faithful to His promises regarding watching over His Word to perform it, never returning to Him void. For the person to whom I am witnessing, I generally pray along the lines of Matthew, Chapter 13. For me, I pray that I will faithfully hear the Lord, faithfully speak His Word, that nothing will interfere with my hearing, and that I will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit Who I ask to guide me in all things. I don’t really like the idea of others praying my prayers or me praying theirs, but I will work on a new blog post along these lines as an encouragement for others to pray. Prayer helps you keep your motives on course while you’re working through these things with someone.

Before you get started in a counter-cult witnessing situation such as I have recently with my Mormon neighbor, you must accept the very real possibility that the person may not respond to you with an eventual rejection of their cultic or aberrant belief system. They may never respond to your message about their beliefs, and the process will be much more difficult if they do not believe that you have concern for them on a personal level.

Any motive of yours that is not healthy will make the process of witnessing and helping the spiritually abused person very difficult. If you say that you want to help someone, but the process unfolds in a way that is very different from what you want to see, that conflict will produce a great deal of dissonance for you and for the person you are trying to help. Your words will not match your actions, behaviors, expressions, etc.. This will contribute to a lack of trust in the person you are trying to help (perhaps keenly aware of what does not feel right), and it is essential that you work on fostering and building that trust. You have to create a safe place for them to heal, and you will often find that you have to abandon your expectations in order to create and protect that safe place. What is safe for you may be unsafe for them. Knowing the subculture that they are involved in will be tremendously helpful, but you must be willing to accept that the person may not meet your expectations, particularly early on in the process.

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Counter-Cult Witnessing Induced Cognitive Dissonance Part I: Introduction to Motive

Back in the seventies, it was still all the Christian rage to go “street witnessing,” much like something you will see in the old film, “The Cross and the Switchblade.” My corner of the greater Church became quite taken with street witnessing, and the practice was still encouraged as an activity for young people when I was a teenager. It still had all of the flavor of the “hippie” mentality of days quickly passing us by then. People were laid back and they were concerned about people as people, but the climate was changing then, now 30 years ago. The adults who were most effective at this were the ones who were genuine and kind to people, showing concern for their well being. (That may seem stupid to say if you’re not an Evangelical or if you’ve never been on one of these witnessing excursions yourself, but sadly, I believe that it needs to be said.)

Ray Comfort Engaging in “Street Witnessing”

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