I used
this quote a
short time ago, but I read something that brought it to my mind
again. There is so much truth to the saying that “we learn what we
live.” Alice Miller makes that fact so clear for us by explaining
why people who have been hurt often repeat the same tactics that were
used against them. But how does this relate to feeling
safer?
Hurt
People Hurt People
Many weeks ago, I ended up in a conflict via social media that didn't end well. People who were connected to the same type of trauma fell into two groups – and each was traumatized in a different way within a totalistic and authoritarian system. From that emerged a discussion that essentially pitted the comfort and perspective of one subgroup against the other. It became a survivor war.
Many weeks ago, I ended up in a conflict via social media that didn't end well. People who were connected to the same type of trauma fell into two groups – and each was traumatized in a different way within a totalistic and authoritarian system. From that emerged a discussion that essentially pitted the comfort and perspective of one subgroup against the other. It became a survivor war.
What
troubled me most about the tension and conflict? One of the
subgroups returned to the dynamics that were most familiar to them
when this tension became too painful for them: a totalistic style of
authoritarianism. While it is understandable that a person suffering
from the pain of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) might feel
threatened by a different perspective of a shared experience,
suppressing and punishing expression only repeats that original
trauma.
It
almost reminds me of the French Revolution and the irony of what
Robespierre experienced, though his history still
remains a controversy, too. This is a gross oversimplification,
but in effect, he did this same kind of repeating of the unthinkable.
In order to establish a “republic of virtue,” he resorted to the
Reign of Terror campaign to bring about his lofty goal. He redefined
terror as the emancipator of virtue. He was executed as a
consequence, for he tried to outlaw execution by executing the
critics who opposed him. He tried to use totalism and death to
create freedom which aimed at enhancing better life.
Swords
of Safety
When I
happened across this article in Skeptic
magazine, it touched on so many similar elements of this
conflict. It questioned whether it is possible to create a safe
place for everyone and where the responsibility rests to help balance
free expression for those with diverse views. The scope of the
article ended up rather broad, but it touched on some of the same
themes about safety and trauma that affect those experiencing PTSD.
Diversity creates natural tension, and in a diverse world and a
pluralistic society, how much “safety” can truly be achieved?
This
quote from the article sticks with me days after reading the article,
especially as political campaigning heats up in anticipation of the
US Presidential election. Few realize that so much attention to
triggering others actually serves to make them more of a problem in
many ways. It is also a sword with a double edge. One perspective
might win a battle today, but in the long term, all those with
different perspectives lose.
From What Went Wrong? Campus Unrest, Viewpoint Diversity, and Freedom of Speech by Michael Shermer:
From What Went Wrong? Campus Unrest, Viewpoint Diversity, and Freedom of Speech by Michael Shermer:
My
freedom to speak and dissent is inextricably tied to your freedom to
speak and dissent. Once customs and laws are in place to silence
someone on one topic, what’s to stop people from silencing anyone
on any topic that deviates from the accepted canon? The justification
of censorship laws in the consequentialist argument that people might
be incited to discrimination, hate, or violence if exposed to such
ideas fails the moment you turn the argument around and ask: What
happens when it is you and your
ideas that are determined to be dangerous?
It
is the Principle of Interchangeable Perspectives that I introduced in
The Moral Arc:
For me to expect you to listen to me I must be willing to hear you.
If I censor you, why shouldn’t you censor me? If you silence me,
why shouldn’t I silence you?
Perhaps
realistic expectations concerning freedom and diversity keep us safer than anything else. It definitely helps.
So
much more to come on Safety and Stability in Phase One of healing
from trauma. Until then, puruse some suggested reading:
- Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery
- Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma
- Bessel Van der Kolk's The
Body Keeps Score
