At some
point, for most people, the stress of their trauma alters their lives
significantly enough that they reach out for help. It was no light thing for me to seek it myself. The expense alone can be enough to keep people from seeking assistance
I happened onto a
watershed moment while I was in school while observing a group therapy session for teens in a drug an alcohol rehab. I often wonder if I would have felt comfortable with therapy if I had not had good training in school. I always believed
that there had to be a better way of being because I saw modeled in
serene, compassionate, mentally healthy people with great boundaries
from time to time. But after I observed that group therapy session, I realized on a very deep level that I was not alone in my
pain and that there was viable, effective help out there for me when I was ready for it. I just finally became tired of living a sub-standard life of pain.
Holding
Out Hope
I wish
that the process of finding a good therapist could be easier,
particularly those who understand or are willing to learn about the
unique problems associated with cultic groups. But be encouraged. A
few studies have shown that just getting out of bed and going to a
therapist who does no actual therapy proves to be just as beneficial
as medication. It is an act of self care, and I suppose that
attending to your own needs comes along with its own benefits of
better mood. And while the leading experts in trauma note that
medication is not a cure, it can “lengthen your fuse” enough to
help you get more out of the work of healing.
Many
people cannot afford to pay a therapist, but there is so much that
can be learned from self help books and other information on the
internet. Trauma is understood much better than it was before due to
a host of factors, and the field is a world away from the days of
Jung and Freud.
Find
friends who can support you. Find a few of them upon whom you can
lean as you work through your traumas, and try not to wear any one
friend out all at once. Our friends can get weary of us, even though
they love us, so it is a good thing to have just a few good ones.
Find role models, too. They can lend encouragement. You need people
who can hold on to hope for you when you don't have the ability to do
it for yourself. They can hang on to it for you as you figure out
where you are and what you need to do to honor yourself and move
forward. They can help broaden your perspective to help you see the
things that you cannot when your head hangs low – and hopefulness
escapes your gaze.
The
decision is yours. If you've read this and the few posts that
preceded this one, you have knowledge that many elements of trauma
can become a trap and a maze that keeps you captive until you learn
new strategies that do more than just help you survive. So today, I
hold out hope for you. You may feel powerless, but you can nurture
the power that you do have by taking advantage of the helpful things
that are under your control. That warmth may only be a glowing ember
left after the devastating fire of trauma, but you can harness that
heat and light to heal. You can take your bad experiences and turn
them around to find the good benefits in them. And in the process,
you might just help others. In the long run, you will most
definitely help those who love you.
And from
here, we head out of the discussion of the trappings of trauma
without treatment, venturing on to consider Stage One of healing from
trauma.
For
further reading until the next post:
- Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery
- Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma
- Bessel Van der Kolk's The Body Keeps Score
