I am
happy to announce that after dinner on July 3rd, at the
International Cultic Studies Association conference at the Sheraton in Silver Spring, Rev. Bob and Judy Pardon
have offered to hold a discussion session for former members of Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) if they
would like to come. (Think of it as a care group that is really the
best kind of care group!)
I've
obtained permission to get scholarships for people in the area who
attended SGM churches. You need to contact me for
instructions about how to get the waived fees if you
would like to come.
There are
several good discussion sessions on Thursday about boundaries in high demand
groups, a session about “Who am I” after leaving
spiritual abuse, and one about how grief becomes disenfranchised
within families within spiritually abusive groups. There are also two
sessions specifically dealing with spiritual abuse in
Christianity, and I'm giving a presentation on the abuse of Christian
counseling programs in Evangelicalism.
I can
also arrange for a scholarship if anyone would want to attend the
Pardon's presentation on the Safe Haven Project on Wednesday at 2PM,
geared at training pastors how to respond to the needs of the
spiritually abused.
To get
the waiver/scholarship, please contact me for instructions. I would
ask that you consider giving ICSA a donation, however.
I hope
to see you there!
More
about Reverend Robert (Bob) Pardon:
"We
live, in fact, in a world
starved
for solitude, silence, and private;
and
therefore, starved for meditation
and
true friendship."
C.
S. Lewis
C.
S. Lewis is a favorite author of Robert Pardon, M.Div.,Th.M. When
Lewis wrote the above statement about the lack of solitude and true
friendship, he might have been describing the reality in which so
many cult members find themselves.
It
was in order to respond to that desperate reality that Reverend
Pardon, along with others, founded MeadowHaven, a long-term
rehabilitation facility, which opened in 2002. Earlier on, during
his 15 years as a church minister, Rev. Pardon had begun to sense the
need for a place where those abused by cults could find refuge.
Eventually, he and several others were able to acquire a building in
Massachusetts that had previously been used as a nursing home. After
extensive renovation and repair, they opened the residence to former
cult members, with Rev. Pardon as Executive Director.
Because
it is a full-time facility, people who have exited cults may stay for
as long as a year. There they can gain the peace and solitude
necessary to heal from the often horrific cultic experience they have
endured. In discussing his work, Reverend Pardon says that he feels
"enriched by having the privilege of sharing in the pain of
others." He loves his work and feels that his own experience has
been enhanced by "knowing our efforts have literally saved some
lives."
Bob
Pardon studied at the University of Michigan, earning a B.A. in
Religious Studies, followed by a Master’s in Divinity from
Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and a Master’s in Theology
from Princeton Theological Seminary. For eight years he pastored a
church in Middleboro, Massachusetts and then, for seven years another
church in Watertown, Massachusetts.
It was during this time that he
was confronted by what he describes as people "brutalized
in the name of God." With the Bible at the center of his life,
he felt the need to respond to the suffering he saw. Always striving
for personal integrity, and "a deeper walk with Christ," he
was compelled to get training himself in dealing with the unique and
complex issues that excult members have to deal with.
C.S.
Lewis once said, "The proper aim of giving is to put the
recipient in a state where he no longer needs our gift," and
this seems to be the guiding principle of MeadowHaven; Rev. Pardon
shares that the thing he finds most inspiring is "seeing
severely damaged lives salvaged and made meaningful."
MeadowHaven is located in Lakeville,
Massachusetts. Rev. Robert Pardon is also Executive Director of the
New England Institute for Religious Research.
More
about Judy Pardon:
Judy
Pardon is living the life she always wanted. "My ultimate desire
was to help others change their lives for the better," she says.
Judy is Associate Director of MeadowHaven, a long-term rehabilitation
center for people who have survived the trauma of cults.
As
a young teacher, Judy became aware of the problem extremist and
destructive groups caused. She educated herself about the issue, and,
spurred to help, became involved. She earned a Master's in Counseling
and eventually became a founding member of the New England Institute
for Religious Research. Side by side with her husband, Robert
Pardon, Executive Director of MeadowHaven, she helped found the
center, working on the renovation of the building, along with many
volunteers.
What
MeadowHaven is meant to provide for its residents is sanctuary, a
place to rest and recover. For Judy, one of the saddest things is
that people are abused "in the name of God. Their experience of
God has been tainted." The center is non-denominational. Judy
explains, "We never 'preach....' I simply live my life as a
Christian before them and pray that they gain a different
understanding of God."
After
so many years' experience with former cult members, Judy's advice is
that "their experience in the group was not all 'bad. '"
At MeadowHaven, "Part of the healing process is to sort out what
they want to keep from their experience and what they want to throw
away. They will gain the categories with which they are able to make
such assessments and then they will be able to help others to heal as
well." One of the things that Judy admires most about ex-cult
members is their perseverance, loyalty, and commitment.
Judy
Pardon loves her life. "We have had so many incredible
moments.... We are so blessed."
