A week or two ago, I wrote to a group that advocates for gender equality in
the Evangelical Church, asking them if they would consider supporting
and signing the Freedom for
Christian Women Coalition's petition at
Change.org.
A representative of the group responded to me so
graciously to decline, explaining their concern over what they described as the demanding
tone of the petition.
I wrote the following email to them, for they
were a little concerned that I might not understand. I understand
their position well and humbly respect it. Many people feel strongly
that it is quite wrong to demand anything of the Council
on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW), especially if they
believe that supporting the petition will jeopardize their own
ministry efforts.
We all
do our part in the Kingdom, and I wanted to convey that. I also
wanted them to know that going to Seneca
Falls 2 Evangelical Women's Rights Conference was no small matter
for me. Though I don't fit the gender paradigm established by CBMW,
I did not relish any association with their pejoratives. I don't
wish to identify myself as formally egalitarian because I don't fit
that mold, either. As I've noted before, my “comp” friends think
I'm quite egalitarian, and my “egal” friends often consider me
too complementarian. I wish to reject both labels, but motivation
for participation in the Seneca Falls 2 effort was not understood by
quite a few. Personally, I lost the support of many people who felt
that it was far too bold of an action. Overnight, I became
untouchable by many old acquaintances who were uncomfortable with the
Letter of Demand that I signed in 2010 as well as the conference
itself.
But... I
did it out of conviction, not out of self-advancement or to gain
favor with anyone. I did what I believed God required me to do, and
the conviction that I felt was strong. I offered the following in an
email to by acquaintance in ministry.
My
Response (with minor editing)
God
gives each of us work to do, and we all must be faithful to it. I
wouldn't ask any more or less of anyone, though I usually feel
confident in taking the risk to pose the choice. I do what I
believe God has laid on my heart to do, and I trust Him for the
outcome. (Well, I aspire to that, anyway.)
 |
| Cindy with Pastor Doug Phillips! |
I
started talking to my husband about it, and I was surprised when he
said, "I think you should go."
I had not even entertained the idea when I mentioned it to him.
I laughed and said that I would go if the conference host would
let me sing right before this other Doug Phillips was scheduled to
speak, and then I could introduce him. I wanted for all there
to pray that I might see the day when I might share the dais with
that other Doug Phillips. And I'd love to see it on this side
of the veil. In that moment when that idea occurred to me, the prayer
was like a mighty fountain, bursting up from my belly and filling me
and the space around me. It was wonderful, but even then, it
was just an idle thought.
My
husband is usually more of a curmudgeon -- one of those geek
scientist types with a grizzled beard and a sweater. I was
shocked, because he was almost ebullient, and he is rarely if ever
so. He encouraged me to ask if I could sing. I dismissed
it, and he said, "Cindy, I really think
that you need to go. I believe that you need to be there. I
think it will be really good for you." I
thought that it was a silly idea, but there was something – that
tiny tugging in my heart. Before the day was through, just a
month before the conference, I ended up agreeing to be the first
speaker of the day. There are times when you just know that
you're walking in the steps that God has ordered. This was one for
me.
A part
of me was mortified for agreeing to participate. I don't even
really like to refer to myself as egalitarian in the formal sense. I
don't have a passion for the subject of the gender debate –
certainly not enough to agree to speak at a conference bearing a name
that can only be seen as feminist. But that fountain was
flowing in me, almost tangibly, renewing and changing me. I had
to be obedient to it, and the conviction I felt compelled me to keep
moving forward. I kept reminding myself that peace was a
counselor. At each step on what was like a golden path, as I
watched each one appear before me, I followed conviction and peace.
At one point, I felt like God was parting the Red Sea for me.
I
followed what for me was God's unmistakable call. A few weeks
ago, the same sweet, little, familiar voice started bubbling up in me
again. "Hmmm. What if..."
What if we really could turn that Letter of Demand that we
sent to CBMW in 2010 into a petition in 2014? From tenderness, holy boldness sprang in a resounding "Yes!"
Without that strong witness contained in that still, small
voice, I would never have chosen such a path. I would have
written a different letter, too, had it been up to me, but this is
the one that God bid me to sign. Out of love for my Savior, I could
do nothing else.
As I
follow peace, my wise counselor, so should everyone do the same. We
should all be obedient to the Word and captive to our conscience,
standing there where God bids us.
This is
all the Holy Spirit's gig anyway. We are members of the same
body -- and I just find myself in the demanding tone section. I
always did identify with the wiry prophets who said the things that
no one else would say.
I'm
honored that you've taken the time to read and consider the petition,
allowing me to pose the question and the choice. We have need
of every member in the Body, and I rejoice. To God be the glory
as He works to will and do of HIs good pleasure. Faithful is He
who has called us, and He will do it. I will continue to pray
that God will work all that He wants for your endeavors, especially
in reaching pastors with the message of hope and truth. May
they love the truth and hear Him through you all. Be blessed
abundantly, exceedingly abundantly above all you can ask or think.
Love in
the Lamb,
Cindy
Recalling
the Story
of Pandora's Box
The
creatures stung Pandora over and over again and she slammed the lid
shut. Epimetheus ran into the room to see why she was crying in pain.
Pandora could still hear a voice calling to her from the box,
pleading with her to be let out. Epimetheus agreed that nothing
inside the box could be worse than the horrors that had already been
released, so they opened the lid once more.All that remained in the box was Hope. It fluttered from the box like a beautiful dragonfly, touching the wounds created by the evil creatures, and healing them. Even though Pandora had released pain and suffering upon the world, she had also allowed Hope to follow them.
Lyrics
that I Intended to Sing at Seneca Falls 2
Keep in
mind that this is the song that rang in my heart as I imagined myself
singing – before I ever uttered a word about it to my husband and
before I knew much about the conference. It was the basis of my
prayer against deception in the Body of Christ and for all of the
women who find themselves in the Baca
of complementarian beliefs.
I prayed specifically for Doug Phillips
as well. In fact, the conference became a wonderful reminder and
burden to pray for him and for those who followed him.
(Baca
refers to a “valley of weeping” after a characteristic of the
Balsam tree and connotes a gloomy and sterile place. It became
associated with a region that is thought to be in Lebanon.)
You're the Rock of my Life
from
Spiritual
Freedom (Janny Grein)
Walkin'
in the desert where the wind blows hot
Feel
like I'm dyin' but I know I'm not
Standin'
at the borders of the Promised Land
No more
waitin'
 |
| LEAVING BACA! |
I'm
going on in
Tired of
walking this trail of tears
Tired of
being captive to all these fears
Tired of
wallowing in this lack
I'm
leaving Baca, and I won't be back
Now I
cry out
Now I
cry out on Your Name
And You
will deliver
You're
the Rock of my life
The only
One that I will trust in
You're
the Rock of my life
You
alone are my Salvation
If ever
I stumble on any stone
Whenever
I feel all hope is gone
You hold
me up in Your mighty hand
You move
heaven and earth
Just to
help me stand
Giants
livin' in the Promised Land
They're
no threat from where I stand
They bow
their knee come great or small
The
bigger they are
The
harder they fall
Now I
cry out
Now I
cry out on Your Name
And You
will deliver
You're
the Rock of my life
You're
my strength and my high tower
You're
the Rock of my life
You
deliver me from mine enemies
