Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Housekeeping and Some Irish Poetry


I had one of those days today...  It wasn't that nothing went right so much as it that it didn't go as expected.  That had blessings and what seem like pains.

Like trying to figure out how to make these new blog template features work.  I thought I'd spend an hour or two as a diversion, taking a break from some other duties.  It would be fun...  ??? What, am I nutz?

I think this blog template works fairly well.  I have not yet figured out how to direct the blog buttons on the first bar at the top of the page to the particular web pages for "Contacts" and "About..."  But I have bigger fires to put out -- like figuring out that I can move gadgets around on Explorer but not on Firefox...  I'm fairly happy with it and I think it's now in working order.  But now I'm in a very weird altered state of consciousness and can't see straight after looking at this crazy box all day.  I'll probably dream about fonts or something.  Rich from over at By His Grace, For His Glory was going to help me try to re-work this old blogger template, but I found this one that seems to be doing just fine.  (I might have to get him to help me figure out this navigation bar at the top, however!)  Thank you, Richard for all of your help.  Now for time to write more posts!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Counter Cult Witnessing Induced Cognitive Dissonance Part III: Reducing Discomfort with Ego Defenses and Fallcies

Click to link to Part I and to Part II.


The English word “ego” derives from the Latin word for “I,” and in a general sense, it refers to a person’s sense of personal importance. Some Christians may bristle at the first consideration of this concept, thinking that it means an inflated self-importance; however, it defines a healthy balance in terms of protective self-interest. A human being must have a degree of self-interest for survival; otherwise, they would experience a dysfunctional fatalistic despair and a sense of futility. Jesus instructed to love one’s neighbor as one loves and cares for self, and from this, I believe that the Bible supports its own concept of ego or what some define as “self-esteem.” I don’t necessarily agree with the whole concept of “ego” as some theories in psychoanalysis define the term, but I find a great deal of value in the general concept from the way Scripture relates it. The next verse that comes to my own mind was written by Paul in his Letter to the Ephesians, instructing men to love their wives in the way that they love, care, and provide for their own bodies. Love and care of others flows from the intrinsic sense of love and care that one naturally has for one’s self.

When a person senses that their integrity or psychological safety has been threatened, they employ a host of possible responses that help to preserve their integrity. Certain professional disciplines assign the term “ego defense mechanisms” to these various responses which are like psychological strategies that help us navigate through the stressors. Whenever we encounter new information that does not strongly support what we already know or when we learn that others differ from us, our “ego” feels at risk. To help preserve our sense of self so that we can learn and cope, ideally, we do so in a way that is appropriate for our age and the situation at hand. Depending on how deep the threat feels to us, how many supportive resources we have available to us in the moment, and how strong we feel at the time, we often adapt by relying upon defense mechanisms of an earlier phase of development.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Plans for New Posts, New Books & Blogathons

In about a week, I should have another post prepared about cognitive dissonance, finishing up the discussion about my interactions with my neighbor and what I learned from them. Following that, I have a few more posts in mind that I'd like to write to finish up this latest series about how to identify the experience of what is is like personally and what it is like to observe this effect in others.


After this, I would like to post a review of Barb Orlowski's new book, "Spiritual Abuse Recovery: Dynamic Research on Finding a Place of Wholeness." I hope that many will read the book and to take a look at her website at www.churchexiters.com. (I was one of the participants in her project, so it is exciting for me to see the book finally in print!)

Cheryl Schatz discussed the book on her website a number of weeks ago, and I encourage the reader here to read what Cheryl wrote about the book and how helpful the author was in a church abuse situation she was involved with some time ago. I encourage you to read Cheryl's post.


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

To Disgruntled Readers: I’m An Equal Opportunity Lover and Offender




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For people who visit here for the first time and find themselves a bit “challenged,” I would like to address some of the common problems that people tend to have with the nature of the material that I post here. (I call it the "Gadfly Effect," something echoing the "Gadfly of Athens" title attributed to Socrates because he asked pesky questions that no one wanted to think about.)

The subject of spiritual abuse is a difficult one for everyone. …But, if you have just happened upon this site and you also find it difficult because it concerns groups or belief systems that you support and admire, I would like you to consider a little bit about my intent and perspective. It is my hope that, though “disgruntled,” you will at least give the information here as much of a fair reading as possible. It is my hope that – in the future – if you should come to a place where you can no longer dismiss discrepancies in your own religious system, you will return to read here again.

Though I talk about spiritual abuse in Evangelical Christianity, I focus a great deal on the patriarchy movement. If you identify with this group, I suspect that most everything that you know about the group to be very favorable if not glowing. The material that I present here in good conscience stands in stark contrast to what you know and trust. Reading this material for the first time, I expect that you will feel stressed and very likely offended on some level. It makes more sense to doubt and criticize this new information in favor of the wealth of pleasant information that you already trust, and reasonable people should respond this way. This uncomfortable process of the "Gadfly Effect" is called “cognitive dissonance,” and you can read an introduction to this process HERE, if you’re interested.
To those who question my integrity and veracity of the information here, please note that I would not knowingly post false information on this blog for a host of reasons, the first and foremost of which concerns my Christian faith and testimony. I do not post unsubstantiated information here, so I am inclined to think we disagree concerning my opinion about certain facts or the causality about how fact, behavior, and belief come together. These are not "lies" but are my opinions which have been shaped by my perspective and presuppositions.