Why It's Hard to Leave an Abusive Relationship

Margaret Singer on Effects of Getting Out:

(non-comprehensive, of course!)


Why it's hard to leave.

1. Deception in the recruitment process and throughout membership
2. Debilitation, because of the hours, the degree if commitment, the psychological pressures, and the inner constriction and strife.
3. Dependency, as a result of being cut off from the outside world in many ways
4. Dread, because of beliefs instilled by the cult that a person who leaves will find no real life on the outside
5. Desensitization, so that things that once have troubled them no longer do (for example, learning that money collected from fund-raising is supporting the leader's lavish lifestyle rather than the cause for which it was given, or seeing children badly abused or even killed.

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Caged Within Your Own Mind

They're all the same, really, these groups -

• they prey on the most lonely, vulnerable people they can find
• cage you with your own mind through guilt and fear
• cut you off from everyone you knew before
• and when they're done doing that, they don't need armed guards to keep you.

You're afraid that if you leave, your parents will die, you will die, your life will be ruined.
Flim-flam men, pimps, sharpsters - that's what they are. Liars. Tricksters.  

It's been the same ever since Eve got the apple, and I doubt it will ever change.

Margaret Thaler Singer

Margaret Singer has made history delving into the psychology of brainwashing,

San Francisco Chronicle

May 26, 2002

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A Synopsis of Terminology Pertaining to Cults and Spiritual Abuse

There are many definitions of what is meant by the term "cult." One must define which terms are being used. Within Christianity, the term is generally not considered to be a pejorative but describes a specific set of conditions.

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Understanding Con Artists, Manipulators, and Cult Leaders: An Index of Posts About Manipulation

When I started this blog, I never anticipated that I would one day surpass 700 individual posts. It seemed time to consolidate those posts to make the material more easy to navigate, especially the information about the characteristics of manipulators.

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Additional Factors Contributing to Doctrine Over Person Pressures at Hephzibah House: Understanding Doctrine Over Person, Part IX of X (Summary and Review)

While applicable to anyone who wishes to understand thought conversion in a manipulative relisious system, this review of Doctrine Over Person takes into consideration the unique experiences of those who endured time at Hephzibah House (HH), offering what also becomes a review of spiritual abuse and thought reform in general. As a consequence of the motivation for the review (zealous support of an abuser and his profoundly abusive system), the theme of abuse and torture influenced my approach to the material which may or may not be as applicable to other less extreme manipulative systems. HH resident Lucinda Pennington and her advocacy of HH which frustrates other HH survivors also presented a primary and perhaps greater motivation for this review. I am of the opinion that she presents a prime example of a person whose memories and perspective have been transformed through the trauma of Doctrine Over Person.

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From the ReFocus Website:

Post-Cult Trauma Syndrome*

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After exiting a cult, an individual may experience a period of intense and often conflicting emotions. She or he may feel relief to be out of the group, but also may feel grief over the loss of positive elements in the cult, such as friendships, a sense of belonging or the feeling of personal worth generated by the group's stated ideals or mission. The emotional upheaval of the period is often characterized by "post- cult trauma syndrome":

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Thought Reform (The Last of Lifton 101)

Thought reform is accomplished through the use of psychological and environmental control processes that do not depend on physical coercion.  

Today's thought reform programs are sophisticated, subtle, and insidious, creating a psychological bond that in many ways is far more powerful than gun-at-the-head methods of influence.

The effects generally lose their potency 

when the control processes 

are lifted or neutralized in some way.

That is why most Korean War POWs gave up the content of their prison camp indoctrination programs when they came home, and why many cultists leave their groups 

• if they spend a substantial amount of time away from the group 
• or if they have an opportunity to discuss their doubts with an intimate.

Thought Reform Exists: Organized, Programmatic Influence

Margaret Thaler Singer, Ph.D

The Cult Observer

Vol. 11 No. 6 1994.

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An Open Message to Judge Susan Cook About the Williams' Sentencing: The Development of the Perfect Storm

Sentencing was just handed down today, following the guilty verdicts of the Williams Family parents in Skagit County, Washington. They were both found guilty of abuse charges for their adopted children as well as manslaughter charges, with an additional charge of “Homicide by Abuse” for the mother only. The jury could not come to a consensus on the same charge for the father, and it was subsequently dropped – a special charge reserved for those who are implicated in the death of children age thirteen years and younger. (A challenge of Hana Alemu Williams' age played a large role in the case presented by the defense teams for both parents to avoid the implications of this charge.)

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