Ron Williams, the founder of Hephzibah
House, the private boarding home for troubled girls has a few
interesting ideas about young women who are molested or raped.
Survivors of Hephzibah House (HH) will
tell you about the cruel things that Ron Williams had to say, many of
which are not captured in this sermon.
He spoke openly about the options
available to young women who no longer had sexual purity, whether it
was forcibly taken from them or whether they were too young to
understand what was happening to them as they were being molested by
an adult. These women have little value because they have poor
character, otherwise they would have never been violated.
Girls who have been molested have an
inherent sexual character that entices men, and Ron Williams believes
that the Old Testament references to the “strange woman” applies
to all women who are violated sexually. They are responsible and
culpable for enticing good men to sexually abuse them – the first
cause in the sin. Once they are violated and their purity gone, they
have very limited opportunities for service, and they become
something less than the rest of the human race. Ron Williams treated
them that way and programmed these young women at Hephzibah House to
believe that they were the dregs of humanity, deserving of abuse. At
least during the 1980s, this is why the residents there were starved
and beaten.
Williams showed great disdain for these
young women. He openly told the girls in residence at HH that when
the book of James talked about man's works done without faith as
filthy rags, this was also a reference to God's great disdain for
soiled menstrual rags. According to Williams, there was nothing more
disgusting to God than a woman's menstrual cycle. Women who were
holy and acceptable to God were supposed to marry young and spend
most of their years without menstrual periods through pregnancy and
nursing to suppress the menstrual cycle so that God would find them
of value. Perhaps that is why the girls at HH report that they
stopped menstruating the day that they walked through the door (a
little bovine hormone in the powdered milk they were forced to drink,
perhaps?) and only menstruated when the home was under threat of
investigation for abuse.
In this sermon, transcribed below,
Williams speaks of men as predators who hunt women like they hunt
wild game. Williams was a predator of a different variety. He
profiteered from Hephzibah House and used these girls who provided
him with “Girl Power,” an expression that he used frequently when
he put them to hard labor – labor like that of tilling a field
awash with human sewage, standing behind girls
whom he used like work horses as he mocked them. He didn't hunt
these girls like a predator in search of prey – their parents
brought them to him to serve as slaves where the girls atoned for
sins for which they could never be forgiven. Somehow, these girls
could never be made new creations in Christ. They were indelibly
marked as Strange Women.
Williams tended his flock of throw away
girls which brought in a great deal of wealth for him. He received
donations of food which he kept for his family and fed girls soup
made of dog food. The girls were required to inventory and dust the
stored food while they dropped in weight, having to hold themselves
up by their hands so that they wouldn't fall into the commode.
Churches sent their money to Williams to care for these girls. Women
who volunteered at the home who were not “Strange Women” were
not treated much better than the girls themselves and did what they
could to survive the conditions there.
This sermon which does not describe all
of Williams' thoughts on the subject of the “strange women” that
he oversaw at HH as reported by the survivors, but it is a start.
Please
read my response to this sermon HERE.
Posted in
honor and memory of Danni Moss who worked courageously to expose abuse of
women within Christianity and and, specifically, the abuses at HH. And much gratitude to the
two Canadian friends who labored to transcribe this difficult and
long sermon, because
it matters to them,
too. May the deeds of
wickedness in the name of Christianity be exposed openly for what
they are.
~~~~~
How To
Raise A Strange Woman
(An unwritten doctrine
held by some Independent Fundamental Baptists concerning
sexually abused girls:
They become human garbage and things to be used,
to be dispensed with in
whatever way is convenient to those who have charge over them.)
A Sermon by Ron
Williams
of Hephzibah House
Audio available HERE.
~ Subtitles added for
readability ~
Part I
During these moments together, we'd
like to discuss how to raise a strange woman. Now, when you think of
that word strange, that doesn't mean that this particular woman is
bizarre, or eccentric in some way, or has some strange habit that
sets her apart. But rather, in scripture, a strange woman is looked
upon as one with wrong kinds of morals. She had wrong moral values.
And in fact, sometimes the strange woman in Scripture is looked upon
as being an immoral woman, as a very sensual woman.
And is often the case, when someone
ends up doing something that is characteristically wrong in their
life, it did not happen overnight. Often there are steps leading
toward those things that we do in our lives. And if you examine the
situation closely, you can see things in the background that
predicated that later behavior.
Jacob's History
And we're going to take a look at that
in this story, and we're going to take a look.... Now, I don't know
about you but one of my favorite characters of the bible is Jacob.
Ya`aqob [Transcription note: Stated dramatically,
with an accent-like emphasis]. The old heel grabber, the
poacher, the conniver, the sneak. You could call him by many
adjectives, couldn't you? And yet, Jacob was a righteous man.
And I guess I like Jacob because when I
look at his life and his pilgrimage, I see so much of myself. And
the reason I say that is because Jacob had a lot of flesh in his life
that he had to overcome. He was a righteous man, and his pilgrimage
was filled with lots of hills and valleys. But ultimately, he came
to be called Israel. Prince with God. One who wins with God. But
we're not going to look at that portion of the story. So much as
this portion right here.
Now you'll remember the background of
this story. Jacob had run away from home, not in the sense of being
rebellious, but in the sense that he fled for his life. He had
stolen the birthright from his brother Esau. Esau of course was his
rather “hair-suit” brother. He was hairy all over like a
garment. And that's a rather interesting story in and of itself.
But then he went on to not only steal
the birthright, he stole the blessing from his father by conniving
and sneaking. He lived up to his name, and in that sense, he
conspired with his mother Rebbeca to do so. And when Esau found out
what his brother had done, he started writing his brother's obituary.
(Laughs.) Now, in other words, he's saying, “As soon as my dad
dies, you're dead meat.” No, now he didn't say that to Jacob,
but he must have said it to somebody, or at least he must have looked
that way, because Momma Rebbecah said , “Jake. Jacob. You had
better run for your life. Now we've got some relatives over in
Paddan Aram, that's the land between the rivers. And I want you to
run over there. You better get away from home, because your brother
Esau, he's got murder in his eye.” And so Jacob took mom's
advice and ran for his life.
On the way, a rather interesting
incident happened at Bethel. “Beth El – the house of God”
[Transcription note: Stated dramatically, with an accent-like
emphasis]. I don't know if you've followed this story in your own
Bible reading, but I believe personally, this is where Jacob came to
know God on a personal basis, there at Bethel. As he saw this ladder
from earth to heaven with angels ascending and descending on that
ladder. It's a type of Christ as we learn from the Gospel of John in
the New Testament. But, there I believe he came to a personal
knowledge of God.
He ultimately ends up here with Uncle
Laban in Paddan Aram –
Aram Naharaim. [Transcription note: Stated dramatically, with an
accent-like emphasis]. The land between the rivers. He meets
his own kin – his own kinfolk.
And he's a single man, and he *uh* is
of marriageable age, so he – as he begins to serve his uncle
Laban, because he had to do something. He couldn't just sit around
on his hands; he couldn't just visit there, you know, and be a leach
and eat their groceries and not do something. So he decides that
he's going to serve his uncle Laban, work for him there as he lives
there.
And Uncle Laban says, “Well yet, you
shouldn't serve me for nothing. I'll give you something as you serve
here, and work with the animals, and so forth.” And as he saw that
Uncle Laban had some daughters, he began to think, “You know, I'm
of marriageable age, and maybe this *uh* may be providential here.”
Selecting Marriage Partners
Well, I want to suggest that as Jacob
thought about marriage, he had the wrong basis for marriage. And I,
over these many years of ministry, have noticed that most young
people have the wrong basis for marriage. And what I mean by that is
*uh* their basis for marriage is not God's best but rather what
appeals to my senses, what appeals to my flesh, what appeals to my
feelings and emotions. Does he or she or she ring my bell? Does he
or she look cute? Is this the kind of person that gives me this
certain ineffable, sublime itch that I can't scratch? Do I have
certain vibrations when I'm in this person's presence? And all of
these indescribable, emotional, sensual-type things that really are
more accurately described as being hormones, and glands, and flesh,
and lower nature.
Well, Jacob had that same kind of a
wrong basis for marriage. Frankly when you young hearts are looking
for a marriage partner, you ought to ask some more significant and
substantial questions than, “Who rings my bell?” Such as, “Is
there a compatibility between the two families?” You know, when
you marry, you're not just joining two individuals. You're joining
two families. You need to keep that in mind. Because if God blesses
your union with children, then there's going to be grandparents on
each side and so forth, and – and really, everybody ought to be
heading in the same direction. So if there's vast and radical and
dramatic differences between the families, just because these two
individuals agree, may I say, there's going to be complications down
the road when the children come along and when the grandchildren come
along.
So, is there a compatibility – is
there a basic compatibility between these two families. Are they –
Not only are they both believers, both families, but do they see
things from the Scriptures in basically the same way? And then, I
think that you ought to ask another basic question, and that is,
“Can I better serve the Lord with this person than I can without
them?”
Again, the primary criteria ought not
to be my flesh. Because emotions and feelings change. They are
transient. And if you are interested because of externals or fleshly
attributes, may I say that they change with time. We – If you
don't believe in the second law of thermodyamics, look in the mirror
some day. (Laughs.) You will find that over a process of time, you
will look different than you did on your wedding day. May I assure
you, that will happen with the process of time. I look far different
than I did on my wedding day, and my wife will energetically agree
with you.
So, “Can I better serve the Lord with
this person than without them?” In other words, spiritual
considerations ought to be primary instead of fleshly ones. Because
if you once allow feelings and flesh to become involved, may I say, I
want to warn you about this, then once you allow that to happen, you
will no longer listen to logic, or principle, or reason. I have
found out many times over the years in the ministry, that once a
young person allows their feelings to come to the surface and start
governing the situation, you might as well talk to a box of rocks
than to talk to that person about logic, and reason, and Bible
principle. Because they will not listen once their feelings become
involved. So, before your feelings become involved, you ought to
have these guidelines in the background guiding you. Are the two
families compatible here? Are the spiritual consideration involved
in this situation primary, or are my flesh and feelings coming to the
surface?
Now lets talk about this individual
himself or herself. How do they treat their parents? Because as
I've instructed you young ladies on more than one occasion, a young
man will lie to you. Believe me, young men are not always what they
appear to be. And a feminine heart can be deceived.
What happened to Eve in the garden?
She was deceived. Adam was not deceived. He willfully chose to
rebel against God. But Adam, even though he willfuly did this, he
didn't do the same thing that Eve did. Eve was deceived. And you
have a feminine heart, too, and you can be deceived. And a young man
might look very attractive, to you and sound, Oh, so nice, and, Oh,
so sensitive. And you might seem to be so compatible with him. And,
Oh, you just never had these kinds of feelings before...
Believe me, you'd better ask a far more
basic question, and that is, “How does he treat his mother?”
Because that's the truth. What he says to you may not be the truth.
How he acts in your presence may not be reality. That may be just an
act that he's putting on for the benefit of trying to win your favor.
But how he treats his mother and how he treats his sister is
reality. That's the facts. That's the honest part of the whole
picture. So in other words, you need to know this individual well
enough to know how they treat their parents. And for you young men,
you need to know, “How does she treats her daddy, and how does she
treat her brothers?” Because if, uh, every day of the week is nag
my daddy miserable day, then guess what you're going to experience,
young man? (Laughs.) So if, again, the truth – the reality of the
situation is “How does that person live in their home?” That's
the honest part of the picture.
And then, uh, even more important, I
suppose, than any of those considerations is, “What do my parents
say?” I hope that every single young heart here gets this
indelibly etched in stone: “I will not marry anybody unless my
parents give their enthusiastic consent.”
Now notice the adjective I used.
(Laughs.) “My parents give the enthusiastic consent because
frankly, some parents will say, “Oh well! Alright!” thinking
that you're going to do what you're going to do, regardless of what
they say – And against their better judgment, may well give their
permission, but it's not their best judgment. It's not what they
really want. And if you really want God's will in your life, then
you're going to use God's authority figure in your life, namely your
parents.
God providentially gave you the family
you have. That's not happen stance. That's not the luck of the
draw. That's not the way the cookie crumbles, as all these little
proverbs go. But God providentially gave you the family you have, or
that parent substitute as some of you are adopted and fostered and so
forth. But whoever God gave you as your parent or your parent
substitute is the one that ought to have the final say over whom you
marry, and when, and under what circumstances.
Because if you do this on your own then
you've got no one to blame but yourself for the tears and the
heartache that may follow. So, “Have you got that etched in
stone?” I hope you do – that, “I will not marry anybody
without my parents' enthusiastic consent as to the person, the timing
and the circumstances.”
The Unfortunate Picture of, Our
Hero, Jacob
But as we look at our hero in this
story, Jacob, he did not have these considerations. In fact, Jacob is
a picture, often, of a man who's run by his lower nature. Even
though he's a righteous man, he allowed his lower nature to control
his life on too many occasions, and here's another example.
So, you know the Bible says, doesn't
it, that the prudent foreseeth the evil and hideth himself. But the
foolish pass on and are punished. They just let happen what's going
to happen. And then, boom! They have these big prices to pay for
their foolish behavior. They say, “Well, how did this happen to
me?” Well, didn't look ahead and anticipate what was going to
happen and then plan for it like the prudent does. You know,
probably, you single hearts here this morning – you know many of
you are going to end up married some day, so you better make plans on
how to do it in a right way. Well, Jacob didn't do that. Instead,
he only followed his flesh and his desires instead of looking for
godly character, so I'd suggest that you'd start making that kind of
a list right now. What kinds of character qualities are important to
you?
If you parents here, if you've got a
single son or daughter, may I suggest that you don't allow dating
around, because again, that is a prescription for disaster, that's a
prescription for allowing lower natures and feelings to come to the
surface of the situation. And again, if parents allow that, then
they've got no one to blame but themselves for what will take place
between two young people.
Jacob Selects a Wife
As Jacob looked at the possibilities
here in Laban's household, he had a choice, didn't he? He looked at
the oldest daugther, and her name was Leah. She was, uh, you might
call her the 'Plain Jane.' You wouldn't pick her out of a crowd.
She was very average looking – normal looking – like most of the
people that God creates.
Now Rachel on the other hand, Wowww!
Whew! Man! Whoo! She was bea-uuu-tiful and well favored. In other
words, she was, as the young people say, “She was a knockout.”
Well, as Jacob looked between not
having prepared himself, not having planned for this situation, not
having not put spiritual considerations first, not asking the
question, “Would God want me to marry this young lady or that one?”
Not asking any of those questions, he allowed his lower nature to
come to the surface. Wooo! [Transcription note: In a mocking tone]
And he started looking at Rachel through eyes of flesh.
Now you might say, ‘Whoa, don’t
be so hard on Jacob. He’s probably just a teenager with zits, you
know, he doesn’t have any experience and, you know, he’s
immature, he’s not well-seasoned, he doesn’t know any better and,
you know, here he is and he’s away from home, you can’t blame the
poor guy, he doesn’t have any experience like he ought to have.’
Well, that’s not quite accurate. On
this occasion he should have known better, because on this occasion
he’d already been receiving social security cheques for twelve
years.
He was 77 years old. (Audience
laughs) And when he finally did marry he was 84 years old, and
then he had 12 kids. Don’t use the argument that he was an
inexperienced, wet behind the ears teenager, because that’s not
true. Here’s this older man, I mean he’d lived life for 77 years
when he started looking over the field here – now, that’s an
interesting thing, isn’t it? Here’s a man at age 77 who got in
trouble because he didn’t plan ahead and he didn’t have counsel
from his parents. See how powerful feelings and emotions can be? Even
for an older man. So it sounds like it’s wise to have help in doing
this no matter what age you are.
Now when God helped him – because God
did step in to try to help his servant. Jacob was, remember he
probably got born again there at Beth El, he knew God in a personal
way, so now he’s got a personal relationship with the god of
heaven, he’s a justified man.
God often steps in in our lives to try
to help us. And sometimes when God steps in we don’t recognise his
hand of help. Sometimes when God steps in we consider it some kind of
a freakish accident or something, or a cruel twist of fate. When in
fact it was the hand of God that tried to help us the in the first
place!
Laban's Deceit
Well as you know the story, we won’t
take time to read the whole text, Jacob agrees with Laban to serve
him for seven years for Rachel, the youngest sister. At the end of
the seven years, he comes forward and he says, ‘Well I’ve been
here seven years now, and it’s time for me (rubbing palms)
and its time for me to have my wife, Rachel’, and so Laban, true to
his word, arranges for this wedding to take place, and they did it
according to the customs of the day.
Now you have to understand that in
those days, girls didn’t walk around like they do today. They had
loose flowing clothes on, you really couldn’t make out a girl’s
figure, all you could usually see was her hands, and her feet, and
her eyeballs. That’s about all you could see of this girl. So,
during the wedding, Laban surreptitiously, deceitfully,
hard-heartedly, switched one daughter for another. Instead of giving
him Rachel, as they had agreed, he snuck Leah in to the picture.
Well, they had the wedding, and they said the equivalent of ‘I
do, I do, I take this woman to be my wife, I take this man to be my
husband’ – they said the equivalent of these things, and of
course by then night had fallen, and they went into their nuptial
tent and spent the night together. And again remember, all he could
see was just her eyeballs and her hands and her feet, that’s all he
could see, and I’m sure you know during the night there was just
whispered conversations and those kinds of things.
And I could just hear Jacob that next
morning as the sun started breaking over the eastern sky, over the
hills of Moab, ‘Ah, Rachel honey, there’s certainly going to be a
beautiful life for the two of us toge--- AHHHH!’ (audience
laughs)
Now I want to suggest that this has got
to be one of the most shocking moments in human history.
Because as our text tells us in chapter 29 and verse 25, “and it
came to pass that in the morning, behold, it was Leah!” (laughs)
and it’s a wonder that old man didn’t have a heart attack at age
84 to suddenly realize he’s looking at Leah instead what he had
imagined was Rachel all along.
‘Boy,’ you might
say, ‘what a dirty trick! Boy, that Laban, boy, he, that was
terrible, that was wicked, that was evil!’
Yes, it was. And Laban shouldn’t have
done that. I mean that was really deceitful, wasn’t it? That was an
act of duplicity. I mean you hear stories about what some people do
to some other people and you shake your head sometimes and this has
got to take the cake. This is really an underhanded, dirty deal. But
now wait a minute, let’s step back a minute. Let’s pause and
reflect.
God's Providence?
For believers, there’s no such thing
as ‘luck’. (Audience member: Amen) I hope you accept that.
For a believer, everything, EVERYTHING, is providential. That’s why
Paul, writing later in the New Testament, Romans chapter 8 verse 28
says “all things work together for good”.
‘You mean, even me
having Leah instead of Rachel? ‘ ‘That’s right. That’s right
Jacob. Even you, having Leah instead of Rachel.’ Now, Laban meant
it for evil, just like Joseph’s brothers meant it for evil by
selling him as a slave to Ishmaelite slave traders. But God meant it
for good! (Audience member: Amen)
and as a result of Joseph being sold as a slave into Egypt he later
was used as a type of Christ, a deliverer for the whole nation of
Israel. (Audience member: Yes)
So what men meant for evil, god can turn around for good. Even
though wrath of man shall praise him.
(Audience member: Yes)
So for a believer, for a justified
soul, there is no such thing as ‘luck’. It’s providence! And
God uses even these so called cruel twists of fate to accomplish his
perfect will.
So that’s why I say, I believe God
helped him out here. I don’t believe this was accidental. I believe
that God wanted Jacob to have Leah in the first place! Now you’re
welcome to disagree, you don’t have to agree with me, but I firmly
believe that, I believe God wanted him to have Leah and not Rachel!
Here’s this servant looking at flesh and feelings and emotional are
involved here, when in fact he wanted him to have the more spiritual
of these two sisters and that was clearly Leah. Now let me prove that
if I may.
Rachel's Poor Character Results in
Few Children
As we look at Rachel we learn some
things about her that are rather uncomfortable. For one thing, as we
learn later on in chapter 31 and verse 19, she was an idolater. When
she finally left home, when Jacob decided to go back to Palestine,
she stole her father’s idols, her father’s teraphim.
Because she was an idolater, she had her dad’s gods, these false
gods. And she was a liar. When her dad came searching through the
camp looking for his teraphim she lied to her father. So she
was not only an idolater, she was a liar.
Then, she wasn’t very close to God,
when they were married in chapter 30 in verse 1, you’ll notice this
text, “and when Rachel noticed that she bare Jacob no children,
Rachel envied her sister and said unto Jacob ‘Give me children or
else I die’”. She was treating Jacob as if he was God, as if he
had something to say about whether or not they had children. She
wasn’t very close to God because had she been close to God - when
a believer has a crisis in their life what’s the first thing they
do? They go to God in prayer. Right? Anyone who’s close to the
Lord, when they have a need in their life, the first thing they do,
they go to the Lord in prayer. But that’s not what Rachel did. Why?
Because she wasn’t very close to God, that’s why. (Audience
member: Yes) Instead she goes to Jacob and accuses him of being
the problem.
Now, as our text has already told us,
Rachel had beauty, but she had the fewest children. If you consider
having children as a part of God’s blessing, and I do, as you
compare these two sisters, Leah had the most blessings, she had the
most children. Rachel did finally end by having two children but may
I say, beauty can be a curse if you don’t have character with it.
Beauty can be a curse with no character. And then, she was
superstitious. Later on in our story, chapter 30 in about verse 14,
Rachel used this superstitious thing of using special herbs and weeds
to try to gain her fertility. Again instead of going to the Lord she
used superstition.
And then, I would have think about this
as well. She gave her husband a concubine. I’d like to ask you
married ladies here a question. How many of you would have the
freedom to give your husband a concubine? Hands please. (laughs)
I don’t see any hands! Mostly when I ask ladies that kind of a
thing, ‘NO WAY’ and of course not. That’d be wicked.
Now I understand, in this day and age
that we’re discussing, this was common. When you couldn’t bear a
child it was common, it was legal, to give your husband your servant
girl, your handmaid, and then if she would bare a child that child
would be reckoned to you. You would be the legal parent, even though
you wouldn’t be the biological parent. But what is often accepted
is not always morally right, I believe you’d agree with that. So
here’s a girl who was willing to give her own husband a concubine
in order to gain the children that she so desperately wanted, and
unfortunately, Leah would follow her example, but Rachel did it
first. And then Leah did, unfortunately, follow her example.
Leah's Good and Quiet Character
Results in Many Children
Now if you think of those things
concerning Rachel, now let’s look at Leah, and examine some
portions of her character. I believe that Leah had character that
Rachel didn’t. As our text tells us, she was tender-eyed. Some have
said that the eyes are the window to the soul. And there is, in fact,
a case, I believe, that can be made, that character can be revealed
by a person’s eyes, for good or bad by the way: I believe Jezebel
painted her eyes with good reason. You look at the Jezebels of this
world, they often have painted eyes. I hope you young ladies remember
that because Jezebels paint their eyes. (Audience member: Yep)
That’s a sign of bad character.
But when you look at Leah, you saw this
shame-faced, modest, humble, girl, a quiet girl, because her
eyes betrayed that she was of a more humble character. She had a more
godly character. She was quiet.
As you look at the book of Proverbs we
discover that the strange woman is not quiet. ‘Where’s the
strange woman? Oh, just be quiet and listen.’ That’s all you
have to do. If you wonder where the strange woman is in any crowd
just be quiet and listen for a moment. Because she’ll usually sound
louder than the other women. She’s loud. The strange woman is loud,
and stubborn, by the way. Loud and stubborn.
Now, again if you consider some of the
things that happen in life providential and I do, who produced Judah?
Rachel? Or Leah? Or one of the other two handmaids? It was Leah. Leah
was the mother of Judah, and as you’ll remember in your Bible,
Judah produced Christ. The tribe of Judah produced our Lord Jesus
Christ, and David, by the way. She was also the mother of Levi, the
priestly line.
By the way, she had the most children.
(laughs) She had seven children, which interestingly enough is
the same number of children that was in our Lord’s family. Our Lord
Jesus Christ came from a family of at least seven children. That’d
be of particular interest to those of you who have a Roman Catholic
background because you were taught, if you were in the Roman church
for any length of time at all, that Mary didn’t have any children
except for the Lord Jesus, but the scriptures seem to indicate
otherwise. There were seven children there, and Leah had seven
children just like the family of our Lord and not only so; she
prayed.
Chapter 30 and verse 17: “God
hearkened onto Leah and she conceived and bare Jacob the sixth son”.
She was a praying woman. That tells me she had a relationship with
God. You don’t pray to someone that you don’t know. Leah knew god
and she prayed to him.
But you know what impresses me most
about Leah? And I think you ladies would agree with this. She loved a
man who did not love her. Now I wanna tell you, that is character.
And had she lived in the twentieth century, her contemporaries would
say ‘forget it, just go jump in a lake’, and she’d leave the
relationship. Twentieth century woman would do that kind of thing,
but not Leah. She loved a man who did not love her.
Some men believe that they’ve made a
mistake by having the wrong wife. You can’t conclude that by
reading this story. Again, what did God do? God gave his hero Leah.
That’s who he wanted him to have all along! God in so many words
was saying, ‘I want you to have Leah, not that girl over there
called Rachel, I want you to have her sister, Leah. No, she’s not
as beautiful. No, she’s not as well-favoured. But she’s got the
character I want you to have in your life. I want you to marry Leah’,
and he used a wicked reprobate uncle named Laban to bring that all
about.
But when God tried to help him, he
refused.
Leah's Children Have Better
Character
Another interesting note about Leah is
you can see some elements of her character in her children. As the
children started coming along, the first one, chapter 29 in verse 32
was called Reuben, which means ‘see, a son.’ You know, she’s
pretty happy, ah! Little baby Reuben came bouncing along. And then
number two, Simeon, chapter 29 verse 33, which means ‘hearing’.
’Cause Leah was painfully aware that her husband loved her sister
more than he loved her, and so when she named Simeon I’m sure what
what she’s saying is now God’s gonna hear me, ’cause she named
him Simeon, ‘God heard me’.
Then verse 34 of chapter 29, Levi comes
along which means ‘joined’ or ‘attached’ – ‘maybe now my
husband will be joined to me, now that I’ve given him three sons,
maybe now he’ll be attached to me’, then I see in verse 35 of
chapter 29 when Judah comes along, his name means ‘praise’. It’s
almost as if Leah had said, ‘well, maybe he’ll never love me, but
my hope is in the Lord, and I’m gonna praise God anyway.’ So when
Judah came along, ‘the Lord is my hope, not my man, so I’m gonna
praise God’, so she named him Judah.
Then in verse 17, Issachar comes along,
chapter 30, ‘there is reward – there is reward for praising God,
there’s reward for serving him’. Verse 19 and 20 of chapter 30,
Zebulun comes along: ‘dwelling’. ‘Maybe now my husband will
dwell with me, after six sons’, or seven sons, six sons in this
case. Then verse 21 of chapter 30, Dinah comes along and ominously
Dinah means ‘judged’, kind of a cryptic expression for what we’re
gonna see coming later.
Wrong Basis and Actions in Marriage
Well, we not only see the wrong basis
in marriage for our hero Jacob, but we also see the wrong actions in
marriage. You see, I don’t care who you are: me, you, the person
next door; when we violate Bible principle, then the law of sewing
and reaping comes into effect. (Audience member: right)
Whatever we sew, Galatians 6, we’re going to reap (Audience
member: that’s right), and I don’t care who you are, if
you’re the king of Babylon, or the poorest pauper on planet Earth,
or anyone in between: if we violate God’s principles, we are going
to reap a crop. God’s plan for marriage is monogamy.
Monogamy. That’s a Latin word which
basically means one wife. Monogamous relationship, one wife, you
should be a one wife kind of man. Jacob began monogamous. He ended up
with Leah. He was very disappointed (laughs) but he had Leah now.
But he went on, and I won’t take time
to read the passages, but he went on to demand Rachel in addition to
Leah. ’Cause he was really angry with uncle Laban: ‘How could you
have done this to me,’ and Laban explains, ‘Well it’s not our
practice in this part of the country to do that, we always like to
have the oldest daughter married first, so (laughs) didn’t
think you’d mind (laughs).’ ‘WELL I DO MIND’ and they
were goin’ at it tooth and toenail there, and so, ‘Well, all
right, serve you another seven years for Rachel,’ so he became
polygamous. Why? To satisfy God’s laws? No. To please the Lord? No.
he became polygamous to please his flesh. He wasn’t satisfied with
Leah, Leah wasn’t good enough for him, he had to have Rachel too.
And because Laban gave each of his
daughters servant girls when they married, he ended up having these
two concubines, so he ended up having four wives by the time it was
all said and done. God’s plan is what? Monogamy. The plan of the
flesh, or this world, is polygamy, which is another Latin word which
means many wives. Now may I say you cannot serve two masters, nor can
you have two wives. (laughs)
Leah was an insecure woman. She was an
insecure wife because as she would see her husband Jacob look at
Rachel she would see his eyes light up. He liked what he saw when he
looked at Rachel. And she won her husband, Jacob, the wrong
way. She did it with duplicity, she did it with deceit. And there are
young woman that win their husbands today in a wrong way, are there
not?
A Woman's Poor Conduct Attracts a
Man of Poor Character
And you young women know this to be
true. If you were to start dressing wrong, if you were to start
leaving buttons unbuttoned, and wearing form-fitting clothing, and
hiking up your hemlines and exposing parts of your body, I’ll
guarantee you, you will attract attention. No question about it! You
will have attention from men of this world. Absolutely you will. But
have you ever stopped to ask yourself a question? What have you got?
Those men who are paying attention to
you because of the way you have conducted yourself and the way you’ve
exposed your body and the way you’ve acted in a wrong way; what you
have you got? You’ve got a young man with wrong character,
that’s what you’ve got. You’ve got a young man who’s
attracted by flesh and is run by his lower nature. Because a man who
is looking for a godly wife is going to be repulsed by that kind of
behaviour. And may I say if you can win a husband by flesh and acting
and living in a wrong way, what’s gonna happen when someone else
comes along who looks even better than you? May I say, you’ve got a
pretty bad situation.
So if you win some guy with your body,
what do you have? You’ve got a jerk. You’ve got a creep, that’s
what you’ve got, someone who’s very fleshly, very carnal, in fact
he could even be kind of a bestial type person. So any girl who
wins a man with her body or by lowering her moral standards, that
girl is going to be insecure in her marriage. And Leah was insecure.
Because she won her husband in an unscrupulous way through duplicity
and deceit. So she won him in a wrong way.
She should have actually disobeyed
Laban, and she saw his interest was in fleshly, carnal areas, and
Rachel’s beauty, so she tried to compensate by doing anything she
could to get his affection, and her method was having children, and
she was fertile... as a fertile, I mean she had lots of children.
Boy, the children started coming along, boy, she had seven children
just like that.
I want you to turn, if you would to
chapter 30, beginning at verse 14 where we see an example of what
happens in a marriage where we have wrong actions in a marriage
because you just can’t have polygamy and have this succeed. This is
not Gods plan.
Part II
Jacob's Spiritual Low Point at
Shechem
Beginning of verse 14
“And Ruben went in
the days of wheat harvest and found mandrakes in the field and
brought them unto his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, ‘Give
me I pray thee, of thy son’s mandrakes.’ And she said unto her,”
and you can just hear the pent up anger and bitterness in this
response “’is it a small matter that though has taken my husband
and wouldst though take away my son’s mandrakes also.’ And Rachel
said, ‘therefor he shall lie with thee tonight for thy son’s
mandrakes.’ And Jacob came out of the field in the evening and Leah
went out to meet him and said ‘thou must come in unto me for surely
I’ve hired thee with my son’s mandrakes’ and he lay with her
and he erected there an altar and called it ‘El Elohe Israel’.'
I want to suggest to us, that Jacob at
this point in his career was on a very low spiritual plain when he
arrived a Shechem. Now why do you say that? Well, because if you’ll
remember in your memory when he stopped at Bethel and saw that ladder
going from earth to heaven and the angels ascending and descending on
that ladder and he established that personal relationship with God.
Among other things on that occasion, he promised “I’m going to
return to this spot, Bethel, the house of God” and he’s going to
come back here and as it were pay his vows. So now as we read this
story we see him ending up at Shechem and out first question really
ought to be “well now Jacob, why are you here at Shechem? You’re
supposed to be back at Bethel, the house of God. That’s where you
belong. You’re not supposed to be here a Shechem.”
The Principle of Compromise
Now according to a principal that we
could call “the principal of compromise” Jacob could answer that
question. He could say “well, I may not be at Bethel. But at
Shechem I’m only one day away. I’m close. I may not be exactly
where I’m supposed to be, but I’m close. I’m only one day
away.”
Now let’s consider that principal for
a moment.
I don’t know about you, but flying is
not my favourite thing to do. At first I was a white knuckle flyer,
but I’ve gotten over that. Then I was a ‘fill the bag’ flyer,
you know I.. Flying is not my favourite thing. I really get kind of
claustrophobic when I’m cooped up in that airplane for hours and
hours and hours. And then my small diminutive, frame [Ron Williams
is a large man] in those tiny little seats built for midgets,
it’s just not a good equation for me, ok.
And when you’re flying in this plane
often the captain comes on and he says, “This is your captain
speaking” and he says all these things [about] flying back from
Europe he says “there’s the mountains of Iceland”. You know, we
flew by Iceland, we saw the mountains there of Iceland, and that was
interesting. But I’m so glad when that captain comes on that he
does not say “we are flying approximately 75 feet above the ground,
and I’m trying to see how close I can fly to the ground and still
fly.” No quite to the contrary I’m so glad he says “we’re
flying about 30 thousand feet above the ground.” Because, you know,
there’s radio towers sticking up, and there’s mountains, and
there’s hills and there’s buildings, and the Empire State
building, and, you know, the Sears Tower, and all these big edifices
that would interrupt our flight… if we were flying at 75 feet above
the ground. So I’m so glad when he said “we are flying 30
thousand feet” we’re not trying to see how close to the ground we
can be and still be flying.
Now do you get it? The principle of
compromise can be very dangerous indeed. You don’t see how close
you can get to the world and still have one foot in God’s camp.
The Significance of Shechem
Yes, he’s a Shechem. Only one day
away from Bethel, but that’s the principle of compromise. He should
have been at Bethel, and not at Shechem. He could have said “well
I’m within the bounds of obedience, I’m close.” But God wants
us to stay as far away as we can from the world.
Now why Shechem? Well Shechem, as we
look at our bible atlas and some other helps. Shechem was on a trade
route between east and west. And so there was a lot of commerce going
on there in the Bible world and these days of the Bible. A lot of
things going on there, the coming and going of lots of different
people, and so it was a rather interesting place. It was a place of
this world, no question about it.
And as our text tells us, he built
booths here in Sukkoth. He was supposed to have a tent and an altar
testimony, and that’s what Abraham had. Abraham had a tent and an
altar testimony. A tent meaning he was not putting his roots down, he
went all over the place. He was a pilgrim just passing through. And
an altar, he worshipped the God of heaven, not the Idols of the
Canaanites. Abraham taught his spiritual children and his physical
children “you should have a tent and an altar testimony. You’re
just a pilgrim passing through, and you worship the God of heaven.”
That’s what Jacob should have had; he should have had a tent and an
altar testimony. But he built booths here. He put his roots down.
Now does that tell you something? It’s
possible for a believer to put his roots down in this world. Frankly,
there are some believers who could not honestly pray “Lord Jesus,
come quickly, because lord, you know I deserve a vacation, and could
you please come after my vacation. Now lord you know I need that
motor home I’ve got to have it, and I… If you come right now I
wouldn’t be able to enjoy that. And Lord I deserve a raise, so
please Lord, come after my raise if you would please.” There are
some believers who quite honestly could not say “Lord Jesus, come
quickly” because they put their roots down.
Then he piously erects an altar here,
but you know Canaanites aren’t too impressed with our altars when
we’re living away from how we ought to live. They have this unequal
relationship with this Pagan community, and he knew it was wrong to
live that close to Canaanites. He’d grown up in a home where they
were taught, “stay away from the Canaanites. Whatever you do, stay
away from the Canaanites. I know they’re everywhere, but stay away
from ‘em. We live in their country, yes, but you don’t have to be
a Canaanite.”
But he settled right down amidst these
Canaanites. In fact his brother Esau had brought disgrace to the
family, his brother Esau had brought shame to the family. You know
what Esau did? Esau was kind of a knuckle dragger personality. He was
not only hirsute, hairy all over, that was a picture of his character
too. He was kind of this “urhhh, woman, ha ha ha ha”, he had this
caveman approach to women and as he looked at the Canaanites he
enjoyed the women that he saw. And not only did he consort with
Canaanites, he married a couple of them. And that brought such shame
and disgrace on his family his mama contemplated suicide.
That is how adversely he affected his
own family. So Jacob new, of all people, Jacob new how this would
affect his life and his family but instead he settles right down here
amongst these Canaanites. He should have kept his family away from
Canaanites. He should have kept his family away from the world. But
instead he puts a booth here.
A Charge to Fathers, Family
Protectors
Daddy, you and I are God’s protector
of our families against evil influences. And if we allow our children
to consort with the Philistines and the Amorites and the Egyptians
and the Canaanites of this world we are failing as God’s protector
of our family. If you have a television in your home you are not
protecting your family against evil influences. You are not
fulfilling that role of being God’s protector, because every moment
you turn that on you’ve got evil, Canaanite influences coming into
your home and your family and you are failing as God’s protector.
If I allow my children to be influenced
by anyone who doesn’t reinforce Bible values, I am not being God’s
protector of my family. And that’s what Jacob did here, he could
say “well I’m just one day away, I’m close. This is the way
most people live.”
I hope you friends understand that the
way most people live is wrong. Yes, there is a broad highway and most
people are on it, I understand that, but the remnant, that small
group of God fearing, God honouring people who want to please him are
not on that broad highway. They go through a straight and a narrow
gate. And they follow a very narrow path that is very closely
circumscribed by the principles of scripture. And the people on that
broad highway will laugh at you if you’re a part of that remnant.
They’ll look at you with disdain. They’ll talk about you in
patronizing tones. They’ll condescend when they speak about you.
They’ll criticize you, they’ll complain about you, but get used
to it. That’s the way the prophets of God had to live, that’s the
way God’s remnants have always had to live. They’ve never been in
the majority, and won’t be by the way, until the millennium, but
things change rather drastically then.
And when a man stops his spiritual
pilgrimage for a brief spiritual vacation, which is I guess how we
could say Jacob has handled his life here. He not only endangers
himself, but he endangers those who are under his care. And may I say
that those who are under his care are even more vulnerable than
himself.
Jacob is here a Shechem on a spiritual
vacation and his family went with him. Now you might say, because
you’re a charitable soul “Well, I’ll bet Jacob came to his
senses just like that, and I’ll bet he realized the error of his
ways, and I’ll be he got back on the straight and narrow way, I’ll
bet this didn’t last long.”
I wish that were true. Sadly Jacob let
ten years pass from the time he came to Palestine until he went to
Bethel. Do you know why? Now listen friend, it’s never convenient
to do right. Never is. It’s never convenient to do right. It’s
always easy to do wrong. We’ve got the purpose in our hearts to do
right, against my flesh, against my feelings, against majority
opinion. And so for ten years our hero Jacob stays at Shechem on
spiritual vacation. And that leads us to the next tragic event in
this story. And for that portion of this story I direct your
attention to chapter 34 where we will read the next 5 verses.
Dinah's Preventable Defilement
Chapter 34 verses 1 through 5.
“And Dinah the daughter of Leah
which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land.
And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the
country, saw her, He took her and lay with her and defiled her. And
his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob and he loved the
damsel and spake kindly unto the damsel. And Shechem spake unto his
father Hamor, saying ‘Get me this damsel to wife’. And Jacob
heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter, and now his sons were
with his cattle in the field: and Jacob held his peace until they
were come.”
I imagine that on this occasion Dinah
was in her mid-teens somewhere. Fourteen, fifteen years of age.
Something like that. And she had learned her lessons well; she had
learned how to be insecure from her mother. She had learned how to
emphasize flesh and to appeal to men by flesh from her father, never
mind character.
All this unfortunate incident could
have been saved if he had just obeyed God when Dinah was just a four
or five year old girl. All this could have been saved, it all could
have been prevented. But Dinah, for her part, had responsibility too,
she was culpable she had her responsibility.
Far Country Disease
She violated the principle of Titus
chapter 2 and verse 5. Now I understand that Titus had not yet been
written, but for our benefit the principal of Titus 2:5 is that we
should love out homes.
Can I ask you young hearts a question?
Is your home boring to you? Are you contented with your home? Because
may I say, if you’re not contented with your home then you’re not
going to be contented anywhere.
The prodigal son thought a long time
about the far country didn’t he? No doubt he reasoned in his heart
and his mind, “any place has got to be more exciting than this
place. Boy my home is Dullsville. Square city. I mean, my parents are
so old fashioned they squeak.” And he thought and thought and he…
The more he thought about his home and other places like this far
country, he developed the far country disease, and he go
discontented. And if you start thinking that someplace else is
better than your home, you’re gonna get the far country
disease, and you’re gonna get the same kind of mind set that Dinah
apparently got here.
Frankly your home ought to be the
biggest magnet in your life. You have to love to be in your home,
when you’re away from your home you ought to miss it. Boy I wanna
be with my mom and dad more than I want to be with anyone else in
this world, I want to be with my brothers and sisters, I want to be
with my family. God gave me my family, I don’t know about these
Canaanites out here, but God gave me my family and I’m content with
them and I love them and I want to be in their company. But Dinah
didn’t have that mindset.
Young people should love their homes
more than any place else in this world. But many today would agree
with Dinah, “my homes dull, it’s boring.” May I say, if there’s
a person or a place you would rather be than at home you’re already
disloyal, you’re already on a wrong path, and you’re just waiting
for a chance to express that wrong path and that wrong desire. You’ve
already got that far country disease.
But Dinah developed this curiosity
because as bad as Jacob was on this occasion in his life, as much as
he’d been on spiritual vacation for ten years. There was still
apparently a distinctive difference here because she went out, as our
text tells us, she went out to see the daughters of the land because
she noticed they’re different than we are. We look different than
our neighbours do and that ought to be the testimony of a believing
home.
She was curious, and you’ll see
especially if you’re a young woman, but this is true of young men
and young women, but when you put yourself away from the protection
of your home and your parents you put yourself in a very vulnerable
position and you put yourself in the tender mercies of the devil and
the people of this world. And watch out, what’s going to happen.
Chastity and purity goes hand in hand, in Titus chapter 2, with
staying at home.
Now according to the Jewish historian
Josephus, there was a feast or a festival in Shechem, and as our text
tells us here she went out to see, that’s the idea of learning
their manners, learning their customs, learning their fashions, in
other words Dinah was not a separatist. See a person that’s content
with God, content with family, content with home, content with what
they’ve been taught is not going to go out curiosity seeking how do
the Pagans of this world live. Because that’s dangerous. But rather
she would have been content to stay at home, she would have been
content to be a separated person.
And as you see your family taking a
stand for God and not living the way most of this world lives, you
ought to praise God you’ve got a family like that. You ought to
count your blessings every day if you’ve got parents like that.
Because I’ll guarantee you most of the parents of this world won’t
take that kind of a stand. But Dinah didn’t, as she went out to see
the daughters of the land, she should have known that we live in a
world filled with sin. And believe me, we do.
The Predatory Nature of Men
You see, and may I speak now to you
feminine hearts, Egyptians and Canaanites consider women as game. I’m
a hunter and I like to hunt when I can, we hunt game we, you know,
try and *boom* blow them away so we can put them on the table and eat
them. Now if you’re an animal rights activists I’m not trying to
offend you, but I mean, it’s… I look on animals as a think like
crops, you harvest them and use them. I mean, that’s, I think
that’s God’s teaching. But Egyptians and Canaanites look at women
that way. You’re game, to be stalked and hunted, and the mindset of
the modern Egyptian and Canaanite is of being a predator.
And if you’ve ever heard of the
concept of ‘predatory sex’ that’s exactly what I’m describing
right now. That’s typically like the playboy philosophy of today.
You see men consider you as fair game, if you’re out from under
you’re authority especially. Because if you’ve left the authority
of your mama and your dad or whoever’s over you in authority they
can say “well, I’ve got a chance here, because she’s already
rebelled against her authority.” So it’s open season on girls.
Genesis chapter 12, we won’t take
time to turn there but in verses 14 and 15, what did the Egyptian
Pharaoh think when he saw Sara and Abram? “Oh what a cute couple,
and how Godly this is”? No, when he saw Sara he says “get me that
woman.” That’s what the Egyptian Pharaoh thought, that’s how
Egyptian’s think. In chapter 20 in verses 1 and 2 Abimelech said
the same thing to Sara, who by the way was advanced in years by now,
see Sara’s an unusual woman. Men were very attracted to her when
she was well over 100 years old. But Abimelech was another Canaanite
king, and he wasn’t thinking “awe what a wonder, Godly testimony
they have” he said “Awe I want that woman!” And later when
Isaac and Rebekah moved into the land of the Canaanites, another
Abimelech was on the throne. He said the same thing, “I want that
woman”.
Predators, that’s what the men of
this world are. And girls if you don’t believe that get a job
sometime cleaning men’s washrooms. No, don’t do that. Because it
is so vile, it turns your stomach, but on those men’s washroom
walls you’ll see what the Canaanites of this world think. If you
don’t believe what the men of this world think, just turn on a CB
radio sometime as you’re going down a road. No, don’t do that
either, please. Would you just believe your father? Would you just
believe those who love you when they tell you that the men of this
world are like this man, this Shechamite? That they consider you as
fair game? If you knew what the average man of this world was
thinking you’d carry a weapon.
In the news accounts all the time we
read about girls, like Dinah, who’ve left their mom and dad,
they’ve left their home, they go out to see what’s going on and
end up being victims of some predator. So girls, may I plead with
you, stay under the protection of your mom and dad. Stay under the
protection of those that God has placed over you. That’s the safest
place in this world to be, if you’re under God’s authority you’re
as safe as God wants you to be. Dinah here was like a moth flying
around a flame. You ever see a moth flying around a flame? It’s
like that little moth is empty headed, propeller brained moth, you
know.
“Oh? How pretty
mmm zap!” A moth will fly right into a flame, and zzz their gone.
That’s the way Dinah was here. Empty headed, propeller brained,
like a fish biting at a bait, “oh look at that worm. Boy that looks
good.” until their hooked. No doubt Dinah reasoned, “You
know, as I look around here mom and dad are too strict on me. I never
get to do anything. Oh they get to do everything. My mom and dad are
too strict on my, they’re too old fashioned. Boy, look at that neat
stuff going on around here. Well I’ve never seen anything like this
before. Boy this is really exciting and interesting.” until she
suddenly lost control of the situation. And by the way, if you’re a
Dinah in this kind of a situation, the devil will put in your path
peers, friends so-called, who will encourage you.
“You know, your
parents are too strict. And the rules they put, ahh, those rules are
just unbelievable. What your parents believe and what they
expect.” Fools make a mockery of sin. You’ve got a fool for a
friend. Anyone who starts criticizing your home, starts criticizing
you parents, starts criticizing their rules, is not your friend.
They’re poison. Please understand this, if someone starts
criticizing your God given family that is not a friend. That’s
someone being used of the devil in your life.
Men of this world are mostly like
Hamor. Now he was a prince, he was a Shechemite prince, but he was a
slave to his lust. He was a slave to his lower nature. What was the
result of a wrong marriage, and a wrong family, and a mom and a dad
who were on spiritual vacation? As our text tells us, it can be
expressed in one word.
Defiled.
Defiled.
Defiled Young Women and the Dishonor
of Womanhood
Many, many young people I’ve worked
with over these years have ended up getting these kinds of scars,
because like Dinah they believed a lie, they thought home was dull
and not very exciting until they suddenly lost control of a
situation. And you know this word “defiled” that is used in our
text here is a very interesting word. It’s the very same word that
is used of the desecration of the holy of holies.
So dishonor of womanhood and violation
of the holy of holies are regarded with the same feelings and
described with the same word. You won’t have to turn there but back
in Deuteronomy 32 verses 13 through 19, we learned that purity for a
woman was very important in Israel and in this text, Deuteronomy 13
through 19, a man accuses his wife of being immoral, “she wasn’t
pure when I married her” and then her parents would produce the
stained sheets from their wedding bed as evidence of her purity when
she married. If those bed sheets could not be produced she was to be
put to death. That’s the idea that Israel had about purity.
And so as I look at the modern notion
of dating around, it’s like playing Russian Roulette, and
especially allowing young people alone in cars and riding around
together with no chaperone. I mean that’s absolute insanity. Well
don’t you trust young people? Not an inch. Who of us can say I
trust my flesh? May I say that’s a very short sighted and empty
headed statement. None of us can trust our flesh and especially some
hedonistic young person, who’s got these glands working overtime,
this stage of their life.
May I say in this story, Dinah was
unchaperoned. She wasn’t with her brothers, and she wasn’t with
her daddy, she was all by herself and that’s how she lost control
of this situation. This was an offense, not only against this girl,
but it was also an offense against this girl’s father. Paul will
later point this out in his Thessalonian epistles. You see you’re,
if you’re trying to rob a young woman of her purity your problem is
not her puritanical parents, your problem is a holy God. That’s
your problem. In fact in Deuteronomy 22 verses 28 and 29, if a young
man were to take a girls purity, he had to marry her and he had no
right to ever separate from her and he had to pay a fine to the
girl’s father.
You know, another thing that bothers me
about this story with Dinah is that the text doesn’t tell us that
she cried out. I hope girls, that if any jerk ever puts his hands on
you, you will scream your tonsils out, I mean I hope he goes deaf
from the decibels in addition to the black and blue bruises he’s
gonna receive from the weapon you carry in your purse, et cetera.
Dinah's Damning Silence
But Dinah, now maybe she did, but the
text is silent and I understand this is an argument from silence, but
we don’t see Dinah here screaming. We don’t see her crying out.
That bothers me.
Even in nature we see a picture of what
ought to happen, there’s a fur bearing animal is Siberia called an
ermine. I’ve never seen an ermine, except on some ladies shoulders,
I’ve seen people wearing ermine. But I understand that this ermine
is very fastidious about its coat of fur. And people who realize
this, who hunt ermine, will sometimes take a bucket of manure, kind
of a strange thing to take hunting, but they’ll locate this ermines
hole or den and while the ermine is gone, doing whatever ermine do,
they dob manure all around the hole. Then they turn the dogs loose.
And the Dogs find this ermine, AHHH,
and they see these dogs coming and they’d make a bee line for their
hole. And when they get to the hole they *sniff* “something’s
wrong around here” and they see how their hole has been polluted by
this manure, and you know what that ermine will do? That ermine will
die at the hand of those dogs rather than soil her coat. Would that
many young feminine hearts would do the same. That they’d be
willing to scratch some jerks eye balls out rather than lose her
purity, because here’s an animal in nature who’s willing to die
rather than lose its purity.
But Hamor is like many men of today,
they have a moral indifference. Notice in this text he has no excuse
for what he did, no apology, he offers a transaction. He’s not
interested in their morals, he’s not interested in their law of
God, he’s not interested in her young age or her childhood or her
future or her purity, he’s interested in his lust. No matter what
he says, a young man who talks to you, he’s not acting in a
biblical, loving, Godly way if he’s willing to put his hands on
you. That is not love, that is Hamor like behaviour, that is a
Shechemite type behaviour.
The Troubling Response of the Family
And another thing that bothers me about
this story is Jacob’s silence. Jacob was silent when he learned
that his own daughter was raped. Because he… It gives you an idea
of the low spiritual tone of his life at this point. I read about a
man one time, there was a police call at his home for a fight going
on, and he sat there and he watched television; while this fight was
going on.
These sons come on the scene, verses 6
and 7, Jacob’s sons, and they realize this wasn’t God’s perfect
plan. And you know I don’t see anything wrong with brothers trying
to protect their sisters, in fact, I… I kinda like that idea. I
kinda like the idea of brothers saying “hey boy, you better keep
your hands off my sister. I’ll rearrange your face.” And there’s
something in my nature that likes that idea, idea. I like that. Now
you can call that carnal, or whatever you want to call it, but I like
the idea of a girl being protected. In fact, Proverbs 6 tells us that
jealousy is the rage of a man.
The Genesis of the Strange Woman
But how did all of this happen? How did
this girl end up acting like a strange woman?
Well may I say, it didn’t happen
overnight, and in fact her parents were part of the whole picture.
Several years before this occasion Jacob finally agreed with the lord
on who he should have loved. “He did?” Yeah he did. “When did
he do it?” Well unfortunately he did it when it was too late. “Well
what do you mean?”
Well as you finish out the book of
Genesis in chapter 49 verse 31 he says “now boys when you bury my
body, don’t bury me down there by Bethlehem, where Rachel is, don’t
bury me there.”
“Where do you want
to be buried, dad?”
“Bury me by Leah.
The girl I should have had all along. Bury me by Leah.” Isn’t
that sad? After it was too late he finally agreed with God. And he
was buried with Leah, Genesis 49 verse 31.
Dads, let’s not wait for tragedy.
Let’s love our wives and our children now. Let’s provide security
for them right now. I hope you daughters in this audience know what
it’s like to be hugged by your daddy. I hope he just squeezes the
breath out of you. I hope you look forward to your daddy’s bear
hugs. “Oh, dad.” You are really doing, I think, a Godly thing
when you do. Meet those security needs of that young daughter in your
life. And another thing I think we can learn from this story is that
there is no greater blow that a man can give to his wife than to
withdraw his love from her, and that’s what Jacob did to Leah. He
withdrew his love from her. He loved another instead of her, he took
her for granted, he let love grow cold, and love was a man’s
responsibility in the home.
And there is another argument from
silence in this story, I realize this is not what you would call a
significant argument. We’re never told in scripture that Dinah was
happily married and live happily ever after. We are not told anything
like those fairy tales that we hear about, or this world tries to
tell us that somehow they work out just right. In fact she goes off
the pages of scripture with one word “defiled”.
Probably like Tamar, Tamar lived
destitute the rest of her life after she was defiled.
I stand before you as one who has
scars. I know what it’s like to have scars from a foolish, empty
headed, rebellious, willful youth. And perhaps some of you can say,
“I know what it’s like to have scars”. And so be careful young
heart when you get discontented, because that’s the devil’s
playground. And if he can get you discounted enough he’s going to
get you in a position like Dinah and you’re going to end up with
scars. Some sins of our youth can permanently affect our lives, even
if they are forgiven. And praise God my sins are forgiven. But as
David said, “my sins are ever before me. I’ll never forget my
wicked, evil days and I’m ashamed of them but I never forget
them.”
Proper Discipline of Children is
Complicated by Wrong Marriages
Proper and Godly disciplining of
children is greatly complicated by wrong marriages. Jacob found that
out. And Canaanites don’t care much for my altar if I live like
they do. If I smoke, and swear, and drink, and dress like they do and
go to places they do and do the things I do. They are not very
impressed with my altar. If you are going to do things like that,
then please don’t mention the name of the Lord.
And Dinah in this story made friends
with the world like Lot did. Like Esau did. Her heart was basically
disloyal to her family, or she wouldn’t have done what she did. And
her dad failed as her protector by allowing her that freedom. So
there a dual responsibility here that was violated. And Jacob was a
weak and poor father, he ended up blaming his sons for his sin. But
he was in a place where he ought not have been. God used his
circumstances to chastise him and God did call him back to Bethel,
praise the lord, and that’s the hope of this story.
Yes there’s scars, there’s
defilement, there’s heart ache, there’s tears. But God called him
back to Bethel. And his listening to God saved him from being another
Lot. Where he lost everything. But Jacob failed as a protector. He
allowed fraternization with this world; he allowed idolatry in his
own house. And that’s because he in his own life emphasized the
flesh instead of the spirit. And this produced a daughter who did the
very same thing and she ended up acting like a strange woman.
Summary and Prayer
He hadn’t met Leah’s needs and he
tempted her to be fleshly and the same thing happened to their
daughter Dinah. But praise God, we serve a God of hope. And praise
God none of these stories have to end in tragedy. If we don’t learn
from Bible principle, we are then going to end up making the same
stupid mistakes our forebearers did before us. I trust you will be
like the prudent who foresee the evil and hide yourself. And be not
like the foolish who just go along life trail unthinking, unknowing,
uncaring until the scars accumulate on your soul. Lets pray together.
Heavenly Father, we thank thee for this
story as a very sober story and the warnings that it gives us as
family members. God help the daddies here today to be the protector
that they ought to be, to cleanse their homes of those things that
would bring Canaanite influences in to their family, to prohibit
wrong relationships, to cleanse their home of idols as Jacob did
before he went back to Bethel. God help the mothers represented here
to be that Godly wife and mother that thoust called them to be, to
have security in God if not in their husband. God help the youngsters
who are listening to this message to find their comfort and their
solace in their home, to find their fulfillment in their family, not
in the Canaanites of this land. God help us all to be God pleasing
people. Lord for those who are unsaved, those who don’t know
Christ, I pray that before they can properly understand these
principles that they first repent of their sin and that they trust
Christ to save them, that they also can appreciate the wisdom and the
practicality of Bible principles. Lord whatever our need, bring us
now to our altar of prayer, and as we come, we pray that though would
meet with us. We pray in Christ’s name, Amen.
