Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Ugly Underbelly of Racism in the Fringe End of Christian Homeschooling: A Call for Personal Accounts

Racism and kinism have been a topic of interest on this blog because of the influence of the Neoconfederate Element within Christian Reconstruction and its influence on homeschoolers within its ranks. (For easier reading, a collection of posts about the Neoconfederate influence within this Christian subculture can be read HERE on the archive site. An index of all related posts concerning kinism and neoconfederates appears HERE.)

Essentially, kinism describes an ideology of “racialism” that some Christians believe to be a Biblical mandate prohibiting the mixing of races according to the Judaic Covenant – that which was taught as needful to establish Israel as a nation that was set apart for God. Some Christians who follow Covenant Theology believe that this mandate carries over into the Christian life. (For those who are new to this website or this subject, I find kinism to be repugnant and quite non-Christian.)

Many readers over the years have written to me with personal accounts and questions about the issues of race, Theonomy, and how it affected their subculture. I recall how Doug Phillips acted like people should take their shoes off to walk on the “holy ground” at RL Dabney's homestead. (The first section of this video discusses the influence of Theonomy on the homeschooling movement which sometimes differs little in appearance from the Kinder, Küche, Kirche campaign of the Third Reich.) And, of course, don't forget Wilson and Wilkins, the slavery apologists and plagiarists.

Young women have written to ask me questions about the veracity of the “claim” that slave wives homeschooled their children and kept their houses while their slave husbands labored. Much of this is claimed to be the basis of patriarchy's “Stay At Home Daughter” Movement. I've also heard about caucasian homeschooled children in “kinist country” (within the US) who performed plays in blackface, along with the group's special interest in waving around the “Stars and Bars” (the flag of the Confederate States during the “War of Northern Aggression” or the Civil War).

I would love for those “Second Generation Adult” readers who grew up in this movement to consider writing an article for the Homeschoolers Anonymous series about this element of their experience.

Read more about it HERE.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

FLDS Film Premieres Tonight on LMN

They've been playing cult-related films all day, but this one airs at prime time.  Wish I'd have known about all of them in advance!  Link to LMN.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Be a Weed!

Courtesy of Planet Natural, with a hat tip to Gina Catena, a successful, accomplished SGA Extraordinare!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Calling all Pastors and those in the DC area who are in recovery from Sovereign Grace Ministries!

I am happy to announce that after dinner on July 3rd, at the International Cultic Studies Association conference at the Sheraton in Silver Spring, Rev. Bob and Judy Pardon have offered to hold a discussion session for former members of Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) if they would like to come. (Think of it as a care group that is really the best kind of care group!)

Thursday, June 19, 2014

An Educational Workshop About the Experience and the Needs of the Spiritually Abused in Silver Spring, MD

A note from Cindy Kunsman:

Rev. Bob Pardon and Judy Pardon who operate Meadowhaven, a recovery center for those who have exited high demand groups, will be giving a workshop discussing the phenomenon of spiritual abuse.  If you live near Silver Spring, MD and can attend on Wednesday, July 2nd at 2PM, please feel welcome to attend.  The workshop will be held before the Annual International Cultic Studies International Conference at the Sheraton Silver Spring on Georgia Avenue.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Stages of Leaving a Diseased Culture (Considering Homeschooling)

Leaving a “worldview” like the high demand end of Christian homeschooling usually happens in stages because we're trained to defend our Sacred Science at all costs. Sometimes we get stuck. And sometimes, we don't realize that we're only half way out.

Some of the elements of the belief system, that worldview's sacred cows, are easy to give up. Some lead to our disillusionment. Some created pain for us while living fully according to the worldview. Those are easy to give up. We're usually relieved. When we learn about thought reform and that the sacred cows that trampled over us like a bull in a china shop, we feel validated. We might even feel vindicated when we come to understand that we were forced to accept and even laud these sacred cows because they were part of the sacred science.

But the ones we like? Sometimes we try to keep them.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The New Patriarchs Abandon Patriarchy? Scapegoats and Other Drama

Dangerdust @ Twitter and Etsy
In the wake of the Vision Forum scandal, HSLDA and others abandon the appearance of patriarchy in high demand Christian homeschooling while ignoring the problems in the culture.

Not long after Doug Phillips “resigned” from the now defunct Vision Forum, his cohorts were quick to abandon him. Scott Brown who heads up the Family Integrated Church group quickly denounced Phillips. One almost imagines that some of the big names in this group were thrilled to hear of his failure.

On the heels of Phillips' resignation, Bill Gothard resigned because of more than thirty reports of sexual misconduct as reported by the Recovering Grace community. An article popped up about the poor handling of sex abuse at Patrick Henry College. Other articles (here and here) noted the same issues at Pensacola Christian College. All this took place while GRACE investigated Bob Jones University, was fired, and then was reengaged to complete their review of the claims that the university did not properly handle reports of sexual and physical abuse.  Patriarchy's having one rough year!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Visit Spiritual Sounding Board for the Latest Discussion of Bounded Choice and the Second Generation Adult

Drop on by at Spiritual Sounding Board for more discussion on the Second Generation Adult (SGA -- the adult child who grew up under a high demand ideological system) and explore the problems that they face when attempting to exit the mindset.  

The adult who signs up for a system or follows a strict paradigm has the benefit of remembering what life outside the group was like for them and can rely on that to help them exit.  The SGA doesn't have that luxury, but they can certainly make up for lost time!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Self-Oversight as Christian Transparency and Self-Control

Esther Lucile Brown
Would self regulation and accountability in homeschooling truly prove to be a bad thing? Are there any stops between no requirements at all governmental control? Why is self-regulation such an impossible thought?

An Example from the History of Nursing

Though human beings have been caring for the sick as long as there have been people, the modern practice of nursing began during the Crimean War, midway through the 19th Century. The profession functioned very well autonomously after the tradition forged by Florence Nightingale. By the 20th Century however, nurses became low cost laborers who served at the discretion of physicians, and nursing care became something of an amenity that was included with room and board. Hospitals also subsumed the training of nurses, downplayed the need for academic training, and focused on practical/vocational nursing skills. This contrasted with the tradition that Nightingale and other pioneers of her era built.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

What “Old Guard” Homeschooling Parents Must Realize: First Generation Homeschoolers Must See, Hear and Speak No Evil (Part VI)

Dangerdust @ Twitter and Etsy
First Generation homeschoolers (the "Old Guard") must hear and cooperate with their Second Generation Adult children (SGA) or they will destroy what they intended and fought to create. Regretfully, they may also destroy relationships with their SGAs in the process of resisting perspective and truth.

Part VI in a Series
  • Part I   (Sarah Hunt on homeschooling problems)
  • Part II  (Scapegoating the SGA in Sex Scandals)
  • Part III (Homeschool Apostates and HARO)
  • Part IV (Accommodating Perspective of the SGA)
  • Part V  (Becoming a Safe Person for the SGA)

The previous post discussed ways in which homeschooling parents can work to build relationships of trust with their adult children, the SGAs who have exited homeschooling and hope to improve outcomes for those who follow after them. While this post ends by pointing to helpful strategies, it also carries messages that the Old Guard has been reluctant to hear.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Become a Safe Person for the Second Generation Adult: First Generation Homeschoolers Must See, Hear and Speak No Evil (Part V)

About Dangerdust  (@ Twitter and Etsy)
Exploring strategies to help homeschooling parents repair their relationships with their “Second Generation Adult” children (SGA) so that they can work together to benefit and improve homeschooling for generations to come.

Part V in a Series
  • Part I   (Sarah Hunt on homeschooling problems)
  • Part II  (Scapegoating the SGA in Sex Scandals)
  • Part III (Homeschool Apostates and HARO)
  • Part IV (Accommodating Perspective of the SGA)
  • Part VI (What Old Guard Parents Must Realize)

What is a “Safe Person”?

A number of years ago, I discovered a great book called Safe People by the authors of the Boundaries series. I read it with the intent of improving my ability to discern whether people were safe or unsafe for me. Along the way, I started to think of a dear friend who was struggling in her relationship with her homeschooled daughter, an unhappy older teen who was angry about what she felt was a lack of education. Certain pages were burned into my mind, and I wept while I pleaded with my friend to consider that she needed to learn to be a safe person with her daughter. I read sections to her over the phone and wept, for I didn't want to see her make the mistakes that I believe that my own parents made with me.  (Read more about Boundaries HERE.)

Monday, May 26, 2014

Respecting the Perspective of the SGA: First Generation Homeschoolers Must See, Hear and Speak No Evil (Part IV)

DangerdusTwitter and Etsy)
How can the First Generation homeschooler begin to make room for their Second Generation Adult Children (SGA) and their perspectives about the homeschooling process, despite the discomfort?
Part IV in a Series

  • Part I   (Sarah Hunt on homeschooling problems)
  • Part II  (Scapegoating the SGA in Sex Scandals)
  • Part III (Homeschool Apostates and HARO)
  • Part V  (Becoming a Safe Person for the SGA)
  • Part VI (What Old Guard Parents Must Realize)
I'd labored for a long time to avoid the inevitable, but eventually the little bit of earth covering the surface of crevasse that developed between my parents and me. I did all I could to avoid it and pretend that it didn't really exist while I clung to the fantasy that age would temper all of us as love filled in the gaps.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Rejecting “Homeschool Apostates” and Alumni Reaching Out: First Generation Homeschoolers Must See, Hear and Speak No Evil (Part III)

About Dangerdust:  (Visit them @ Twitter and Etsy)

Understanding the threat of painful truth: First generation homeschoolers followed an ideological system to protect their children that tragically resulted in their harm.

As a consequence, many
resist confronting the problems and will reject the Second Generation Adult (SGA) to avoid the terrible pain and grief.

The parents try to survive the pain of consequences of heavy price that they paid personally to achieve the promise of safety and benefit for their families.  

Even more painful for them to consider is the great cost that they inadvertently passed on to their children who are now adults.

Part III in a Series
  • Part I   (Sarah Hunt on homeschooling problems)
  • Part II  (Scapegoating the SGA in Sex Scandals)
  • Part IV (Accommodating Perspective of the SGA)
  • Part V  (Becoming a Safe Person for the SGA)
  • Part VI (What Old Guard Parents Must Realize)

Reflecting the Image of the Second Generation Adult: Becca's Tea Blog

I'm deeply honored and am excited that Becca's Tea Blog decided to repost the recent item that I wrote for Spiritual Sounding Board (SSB) concerning Lourdes Torres-Manteufel. It explains the Second Generation Adult (SGA) phenomenon within high demand groups and families, especially the constraints that SGAs face when exiting high pressure situations. There has been little written about it among former followers of the Quiverfull/Patriarchy Movement, though the community knows much of the constraints and limitations. They also face the friction that they encounter when relating to those who were or still are part of the first generation followers.