Control and Misinformation that Toxic People Exert

My friend from across the pond put this on social media yesterday.  Too good to miss.



It reminds me of that quote that is attributed to Winston Churchill:

The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.

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Follow the Leader: Con Artists and Cultic Leaders Have No “Off Switch”

When people learn about a high demand group and want to understand how it can dominate members, they usually look at their beliefs (their system of ideology), particularly if Christians seek to understand an aberrant Christian group. Most of the content on this website focuses on the additional factors of manipulation and control that govern the psychosocial and social psychology of a high demand religious group. I like to use the concept of “Bounded Choice” to understand the process of how such a group comes together and stays together in the first place. But this is not the only factor.

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When Persecution Comes and Thought Conversion Results

I suppose the phenomenon is easier to spot when it happens to someone else, because it is horribly painful to realize that it has happened or is happening to you. There's something about it that feels like you are falling off the planet, or more like you are fixed, but the entire world has just dropped out from under you, leaving you in a place where you don't know where you are. (At least, that's how it feels for me when it is most intense. How you would describe matters will likely be different as you loose touch with your resolve and strong sense of self because of this process.) Disorientation is a word used often in my profession that describes the feeling somewhat, but even that term seems grossly inadequate.

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Gothard on Grace in his Thanksgiving Letter to Alumni

  

In a recent letter to alumni of his Advanced Training Institute (ATI, the homeschooling program offered by Gothard since the early eighties), Gothard gives out a personal phone number and an email, inviting students to contact him directly. He states at the close of the letter:

“I rejoice in all that God has taught us since ATI began twenty-six years ago. However, in the process I know various ones have been offended in different ways. Over the years, I have made my personal contacts or phone calls to ask forgiveness, yet I know there are others whom I have missed. Therefore, I would be extremely grateful if you would contact me directly if you have been offended."

There's no note about specific factors that prompted this letter. Some have suggested that shootings in recent years by ATI alumni like Michael Murray needed to be addressed. Others have suggested that Gothard feels quite threatened by the Recovering Grace website in particular and other such support groups and resources that offer help to those who have suffered because of his teachings and advice. It sounds as though Gothard wants to strengthen his reputation in the eyes of those who he views as his most devoted and most elite of students. I'm an IBLP alumna, but I received no letter in the mail.

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Fast-Talking Phelps, Bob Jones U's Reward to Phelps for Resisting “Strange Women,” and the “Do Right BJU” Protest: What color will you wear on December 12th?

If you've forgotten the name and identity of Pastor Chuck Phelps, don't be too concerned. Bob Jones University remembers who he is.

Given some of the particular doctrines concerning women and sex held by those within the Independent Fundamental Baptist denomination (IFB) which they claim is not a denomination, I believe that the university actually rewarded Phelps after the events of 2011 concerning Tina Anderson. Phelps defended Ernie Willis who was found guilty by a jury of his peers for assaulting Tina Anderson at the age of 15. They recently appointed Chuck to the Board of Bob Jones University, despite his problematic testimony and the fact that, from the stand itself, Chuck claims to be a victim of the court and the press.

Strange Women

Many ministers within the IFB teach a doctrine concerning the “strange woman” (the expression used in the Book of Proverbs to describe prostitutes).

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Understanding Cognitive Dissonance Part II: Establishing Milieu Control

In any manipulative group that practices surreptitious techniques to influence members, one of the primary means of establishing and maintaining control of the community and environment comes through what Robert Lifton called “Milieu Control.”

For most groups, this involves not only control of the flow of information into / within a group but also the generation of information to keep those within the group from engaging critical thought. Any information from outside this closed system (or sometimes from a disgruntled member) that challenges the group must be silenced, because people will then begin to think for themselves and will question the veracity of the information that the group has communicated to them. The outside information will magnify the flaws in the group’s dogma. Most groups communicate the idea that only information from certain sources may be considered, and other sources will be portrayed as false or evil.

For this reason Steven Hassan includes information along with the three elements of the self (thought, emotion and behavior) as a means of dominating a person for the purposes of surreptitious manipulation. When the group can gain control of one aspect of the self, it is highly likely that the other aspects of the person will follow the path of least resistance to reduce psychological stress by causing a change in the other unaffected aspects (cognitive dissonance). Personally, I like to consider information as a separate factor because, though it can be manipulated in order to convert a person, it is external to the person themselves. However in terms of influence, it is just as powerful a means of establishing control.

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The Cycle of Abuse

This cycle has been a notable factor in some offline discussions that I've had with several people since this topic presented itself (from so many different sources). In any type of abuse or manipulative relationship (including spiritual abuse settings), we see this ever repeating pattern. I've seen this reproduced so many times, I don't even know who to credit as the original source. I offer my own version of it here. I think of the calm phase as the first step in the process, though people frequently do not indicate this as the first phase in the process in their diagrams. Here is my own version of the "cycle of abuse." Honeymoon/Calm Phase Things seem wonderful at what I always consider the beginning of the pattern, and everyone (particularly the victim) hopes beyond hope that things will be different from here. Everything has been resolved and the problems will not persist. There is open communication and things seem to be back on the desired, ideal track. You forgive and you forget. All the past is forgotten.

Tension Phase Things start to become a bother, especially for the person who is abusive. Things start to become irritating and these offences begin to build. Communication that was very open just a short time before is now difficult and guarded. There is much avoidant behavior and "walking on eggshells." "I'd better not provoke." "I'm going to get into trouble for this, so I won't say anthing." "I have a problem with this but I can't take the chance of talking about it."

Confrontation or Altercation Phase The accumulated tension or irritation errupts into some type of controntation and communication shifts from a passive avoidance to aggression on the part of just one or both of the parties involved. Here, we see verbal and physical abuse, intimidation, threats, ect. The accumulated tension is unloaded in one acute event which is often not commensurate to what appears to have triggered the event.

 Reconciliation Phase Both parties basically become very shocked by the confrontation, and the frustration has been expressed by at least one party. The other party is left to deal with shock, injury, incredulity, ect. It is during this phase that apologies and excuses are offered to assuage the other partner's pain and emotion, whatever that may be. There may also be a great show of caring from the abusive party which engenders the sympathy of the injured. Both parties generally try to excuse the event by creating a myth about the altercation: "it wasn't that bad and was blown out of proportion." 

Denial is also a possibility, as the confrontation quickly and conveniently slips out of the remembrance of one or both parties. With Borderline Personality Disorder, the effect of that disease process actually prevent the memory from passing from short term into long term memory storage. It is literally forgotten. Then back to square one...

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Announcing "The Truth About Victoriana" Site

The Truth About Victoriana

The patriocentrics adore the Victorian period, but from the discussions with my elderly family and loved ones, they related stories to me that were a far cry from lavender and lace. I also love to look at the idealized paintings and have quite a collection of doilies and tatting that belonged to my elderly neighbor next door to where I grew up.

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What is "Damage Control" within a Spiritually Abusive System?

Damage Control is a term that was originally coined and used by maritime industries, probably originating in the Merchant Marines or navy, describing emergency measures to prevent the sinking of a ship. The language and theory of management borrowed the term to describe measures that can be taken to contain problems that might threaten a particular project.

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