Following Bruce Ware's Primrose Path to Domestic Abuse (Part I: Ideas that fed those Shiny Happy People)

When the reporter, Peter Smith, contacted me to ask questions about my relationships with Bruce Ware and Russell Moore and my thoughts about them, I told him that I had no reason to believe that either of them had any clue about who I was. (Earlier that year, I'd earned the badge of honor through a dishonest public denouncement for criticizing their teachings in a lecture earlier in 2008.) 

He assured me that both men "knew exactly who I was," sharing deeply personal insults about me that were too derogatory for him to repeat. He was sure that one of them knew me in real life because of the nature of his comments. I assured him I'd only ever reviewed their teachings and had never met either man.

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Concerning Shiny Happy People, Two Weeks Later

I started watching the Amazon docuseries about the Duggar Family entitled Shiny Happy People two weeks ago today. 

I could not get through the second episode in one sitting, wept, and had to come bad to it the next day. I then spent the better part of the next two days bursting into tears multiple times, and I could barely function because of it. 

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The First Step Towards Understanding Jill and Jessa Duggar’s Fox Interview: Second Generation Adults in Cultic/High Demand Religion

Originally published 07Jun2015

A host of resources exist exploring the characteristics of the subculture of the Quiverfull Movement (which is often synonymous with Patriarchy within evangelical Christian homeschooling circles).  As the new generation that this movement produced finds their voice, there appears to be little information about the process of how this group in particular has affected the development of the now adult “arrows” of their parents’ quivers , especially for those who remain within their religious culture of origin.

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The Language of Cults. Duggars and Quiverfull: How to Communicate with People Outside of the Subculture

First published on 6Sep15

How do we define a cult in respect to the Duggars and Quiverfull?

I wrote all kinds of material that never made it into Hillary McFarland's Quivering Daughters book, but I was grateful to many people who peer reviewed my contributions to it.  Along with concerns about technical accuracy, I also wanted to see how people without intimate knowledge of religion or homeschooling would respond to the material.

I began to more deeply appreciate two primary lessons regarding the discussion of the issues involved with the Patriarchy/Quiverfull Movement.



Lesson One

Though I knew this in theory, the experience of reading the feedback impressed upon me so strongly that people outside of a closed subculture with specialized language need information and terminology that they can process.  People in the secular culture understand patriarchy already, so that gives people a frame of reference.

The term 'quiverfull' presents enough of a novel hook which helps people remember it.  A 'quiver' conjures images of Robin Hood and his mastery with bow and arrow, and the association between his image and that of a family creates enough of a memorable hook for those who've never heard of the Bible verse from which the term was borrowed.  Both terms "sell" the information and create a reason for people to listen and/or care.

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Gothard's Game of Grace: An Exemplar of Externally-Pursued Sanctification

The discussion of the external works as a saving power presents an excellent opportunity to review Bill Gothard's redefinition of grace, as he ends up remerging justification and sanctification to turn the Christian life into salvation by works. 

We've already established that justification as an external and alien declaration defines Protestant belief, and sanctification that follows in a Believer comes about by God's work in them from the inside out. 

Luther resisted the idea of participation in sanctification altogether, and Calvin defined it as cultivating obedience. Both men stated emphatically that all holiness arises from union with Christ which begins in the inner spiritual life of a Believer which eventually results in good works. "Not of works lest any man should boast.”

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Bill Gothard's Novel Redefinition of Grace

View the original video in its entirety HERE.

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Towards Understanding New Calvinism's Other Gospel

I have pended this material concerning New Calvinism until I have time to further develop my thesis  I realized that I have failed to describe Calvin's core belief in Union with Christ which does a great disservice to what he believed and wrote.  And without a core understanding of Calvin's orthodox understanding of such matters, we cannot put any modern iterations of Sonship Theology (and any errors to which it disposes modern adherents) into proper perspective.  

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COVID19 – How Anti-Intellectual Christians Ruin Things for the Rest of Us

Thank you to Suzanne at No Longer Quivering for posting this letter to government officials who may be in a good position to reach the Rodrigues Family with some information that may finally curtail their life-endangering recklessness as our communities and our nation respond to the COVID Pandemic.

The family hobnobs with Bill Gothard's inner circle of Advanced Training Institute homeschooling families including the Duggar Family (TLC Cable Reality TV Personalities). Good stewardship for Christians should begin with love for others and concern for them by first showing them that they have inherent worth. They have equal value to all others regardless of their beliefs and religion, and their physical bodies are just as important as their individual souls. They are precious, their phsycial bodies are precious, and their part in society has as much value to society as that of any Christian – right here in the here and now.

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Demanding Duggar Cradle, Teen Homes and the Baptist Myth of Family

Welcome to the resource page that accompanies the discussion:

From Demanding Duggar Cradle to Troubled Teen Home:  

Overcoming the Baptist Myth of Family

ICSA Annual Meeting 2016

Friday, July 1st, Dallas, TX

View the slides here, and visit Slideshare's website for download.

Demanding Duggar Cradle to Troubled Teen Home: Overcoming the Baptist Myth of Family from Cynthia Kunsman

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Understanding the Duggars: A Series of Posts at **Redeeming Dinah**

As part of a presentation, I decided to create what is essentially an online bibliography for those interested in background information about the Duggars, the Independent Fundamental Baptists (IFB), Gothard, Quiverfull, and the Troubled Teen Homes within the IFB. Information about them all can be accessed at the new site, Redeeming Dinah. 

Overviews of these subjects are provided/  Just the tabs at the blog's header for pages of info that include brief descriptions, helpful links and videos.

As part of that effort, I turned a fairly extensive email interview with a journalist about a year ago into a blog series at the new site. I hope will provide resources and encouragement to those who have exited the high demand systems listed above. It was a nice opportunity to review and consolidate information to make it more accessible.

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Gothard's New "Ministry": Men's Accountability Parachurch Groups

I've been waiting for weeks for this one...

Visit Spiritual Sounding Board for the all of the bizarre and inane details.

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Melancholy Thoughts as Gothard is Placed on Administrative Leave for Charges of Clergy Sex Abuse

It has been an interesting few weeks for the survivors of spiritual abuse and those who have suffered the “extra special” kind of spiritual abuse that comes with sexual advances made by clergy.

After years of suffering in silence and scorn, many have cause for hope. Bob Jones University reinstated the Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment Group to complete their investigation of unreported assaults. And... Bill Gothard was placed on administrative leave by the board of his parachurch organization, the Institute in Basic Life Principles. These matters have even caught the attention of the secular press including the New York Times and the Washington Post.

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Has Christian Fundamentalism Become Synonymous with Sexual and Domestic Abuse?

Note: For background info, please visit the embedded. The following is packed with them, and you may need a scorecard.]

After posting a link to a new article in the New Republic entitled Sexual Assault at God's Harvard in social media today, Eric Pazdziora drew attention to it. (Eric is an exceptionally talented musician, composer, and graduate student who was a featured contributor to the book, Quivering Daughters and has written much on the topic.)

Note: Patrick Henry College (PHC) designed for homeschoolers by the founder of the Home School Legal Defense Association and was referenced in as “God's Harvard” in the title of Hanna Rosin's book.

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The "Virtues" of Suffering in Spiritually Abusive Systems

At the blog From Bitter Waters to Sweet, Mara Reid asks the following concerning the New Calvinism (NC)

I see from the example in the post (that of a woman being abused "partaking in Christ's suffering") that NCs can come off as ambivalent about helping/stopping suffering when it rears its ugly head.

Do they take it a step further and actually emphasize suffering as a goal/way of life?

In other words, it's one thing to tell a suffering person that they shouldn't seek to change their situation. It's another thing to tell a happy person that they should actively aspire to be suffering.

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Gothard on Grace in his Thanksgiving Letter to Alumni

  

In a recent letter to alumni of his Advanced Training Institute (ATI, the homeschooling program offered by Gothard since the early eighties), Gothard gives out a personal phone number and an email, inviting students to contact him directly. He states at the close of the letter:

“I rejoice in all that God has taught us since ATI began twenty-six years ago. However, in the process I know various ones have been offended in different ways. Over the years, I have made my personal contacts or phone calls to ask forgiveness, yet I know there are others whom I have missed. Therefore, I would be extremely grateful if you would contact me directly if you have been offended."

There's no note about specific factors that prompted this letter. Some have suggested that shootings in recent years by ATI alumni like Michael Murray needed to be addressed. Others have suggested that Gothard feels quite threatened by the Recovering Grace website in particular and other such support groups and resources that offer help to those who have suffered because of his teachings and advice. It sounds as though Gothard wants to strengthen his reputation in the eyes of those who he views as his most devoted and most elite of students. I'm an IBLP alumna, but I received no letter in the mail.

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Getting Free of Gothard and the Condemnation of his Umbrella of Authority Doctrine

 30Nov11 edit for sinus infection induced grammar issues.  ;)

On this site, I tend to focus on the process of spiritual abuse and how one gets caught up in aberrant or misguided Christianity. Part of my own journey involved the Shepherding/Discipleship Movement.   The church I attended for four years followed Bill Gothard as well as Christian Growth Ministries, and then I had  an experience at an unhealthy Presbyterian church where Doug Phillips of Vision Forum attended for a time. (Phillips teaches an extension of Gothard's core doctrine.) Needless to say, for those looking for specific information about Bill Gothard's teachings, you have to sift through a great deal of material to find it here.

Concerning Bill Gothard, I believe that the most helpful and telling piece I've written to date can be read HERE.

But for some time, the site Recovering Grace has focused on the Gothard-specific issues that one faces when affected by his Bible-distorting teachings. I've graciously been granted permission to repost some of the articles found at Recovering Grace here. One of the most troubling foundational concepts of Gothard's perspective can be found in his doctrine concerning what he calls “the umbrella of authority.”    Midwest Christian Outreach addressed this doctrine in their book and in online articles, however, those works do not focus only upon the umbrella doctrine but include it an overall discussion of problems with all of Gothard's problematic teachings. Though I've written about aspects of this doctrine and others have discussed the concept of spiritual “covering,” there are few single online articles concerning the umbrella doctrine specifically. 

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Redeeming Dinah: The Errors of Ron Williams, the IFB, and Gothard's Esteem of Rabbinical Writing as Holy Writ

[Original post:  21Apr11;  Updated and reposted 28Nov11]

On April 8^th, only twelve days ago, ABC's 20/20 aired an episode entitled, Shattered Faith, which focused on the physical and sexual abuse of young women within the Independent Fundamental Baptist affiliated churches (IFB). It also mentioned the powers attributed to the use of the rod of discipline found in Proverbs and the literal translation about the power of bruising to drive away evil. The episode pointed out that their churches held these young women responsible for their own sexual molestation that took place while they were children. Two of the three featured women were violated sexually by other men and pastors in their IFB churches in whom they confided about their abuse to seek out help.

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Finding Grace by the Way of Learning What Grace is Not

 What is grace and how does one find it?  We all have the sense that we have “fallen from grace,” but how can we get back to that place that we lost and that from which we feel like we’ve fallen?  What if we’ve never really known grace at all?  I find it quite easy to feel more connected to my failures and imperfections, particularly when I try to measure up to the ideal that others have created for me.  Good performance often brings good favor, but that feeling is rare and always fleeting. It never satisfies for very long.  It stops when I inevitably show my human nature and acceptance ceases, sometimes bringing the pain of rejection and disapproval.  This is not grace.  I long for unmerited favor and joy, the expression of unconditional love.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves:

It is the gift of God:  Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

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Memories of My Own Cognitive Dissonance: Gothard's Doctrine of Grace as an Example

In so many words (!), I’ve already shared what cognitive dissonance felt like after some exit counseling and realizing that not everything I’d believed had been true. 

I’d like to discuss a bit more about the process that facilitated my acceptance of Gothard’s take on grace (and other ideas introduced at the Institute of Basic Life Principles conference I attended). I only briefly mentioned it in this post. 

Cognitive dissonance was easy to ignore for me when I first accepted his views, but when I revised my understanding after I left the spiritually abusive system; I had no other option but to let the process work in me. I loved and wanted the truth more than my own comfort, so I honored the process. Because I’m not a masochist, I did not really want to submit myself to the pain of realizing that I’d been duped, but I saw no other way around it. In the process, I started to learn how to accept life as it is, and not as I would have it. Life is what it is, and it takes maturity to accept life’s reality when it is unpleasant. I am learning how to accept this and cope with life’s unfairness, right along with everyone else.

Here is the saga of my dissonance regarding IBLP.

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Understanding Cognitive Dissonance Part II: Establishing Milieu Control

In any manipulative group that practices surreptitious techniques to influence members, one of the primary means of establishing and maintaining control of the community and environment comes through what Robert Lifton called “Milieu Control.”

For most groups, this involves not only control of the flow of information into / within a group but also the generation of information to keep those within the group from engaging critical thought. Any information from outside this closed system (or sometimes from a disgruntled member) that challenges the group must be silenced, because people will then begin to think for themselves and will question the veracity of the information that the group has communicated to them. The outside information will magnify the flaws in the group’s dogma. Most groups communicate the idea that only information from certain sources may be considered, and other sources will be portrayed as false or evil.

For this reason Steven Hassan includes information along with the three elements of the self (thought, emotion and behavior) as a means of dominating a person for the purposes of surreptitious manipulation. When the group can gain control of one aspect of the self, it is highly likely that the other aspects of the person will follow the path of least resistance to reduce psychological stress by causing a change in the other unaffected aspects (cognitive dissonance). Personally, I like to consider information as a separate factor because, though it can be manipulated in order to convert a person, it is external to the person themselves. However in terms of influence, it is just as powerful a means of establishing control.

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