A Video Primer on Spiritual Abuse

I've posted much of the same information already (see tag list), but this is a great review and summary via video, complied by a Vlogger who calls herself Mrs. Elfrog.

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Great Information About Spiritual Abuse and Mind Control from the Old Geraldo Show

I found a newly available series of videos taken from the old Geraldo Rivera show from the '80s. All the segments are very valuable, but I wanted to draw attention to some specific information first. The first video posted here opens up with a great description of what happens when you experience a high degree of cognitive dissonance.

There are many other elements of spiritual abuse (thought reform and mind control) that the guests on the show the discuss. In the first clip, some of the guests that emerged from fundamentalist Christian groups talk about their experiences in abusive fundamentalist Evangelical groups. It's very interesting to see the Teen Challenge alumni become offended. Since this original broadcast, Teen Challenge has changed leadership and experienced quite a few cultic problems which can be researched on line at sites like FactNet.

Rick Ross made it clear that not all Evangelical groups practice thought reform or mind control, and even Geraldo was kind enough to point this out. The Teen Challenge alumni become quite offended and question the salvation of the young woman who was raped in a cultic Christian church. They accused her of not reading her Bible or of studying the Word of God. This is a common misunderstanding about cults -- knowledge of the Bible provides NO insulation against cultic manipulation. The Teen Challenge folks also challenge the young woman by pointing out her sin of turning to drugs, even though she was born again. (It is the shame mongering that takes place in so many pious churches that I believe turns Christian kids into the world. It was certainly true of my peers and myself in my youth. Discovering that the pastor of the church that ran the Christian School I attended did not help.) Is this not similar to the experiences of so many in the Patriarchy movement?

"It must be your fault." When I eventually post all the videos of the entire program, you will note that she was blamed for her own rape by church staff because they said that her heart was unpure. She brought the rape on herself because she admitted to the desire to have a boyfriend. Wanting a boyfriend at age 16 makes a person at fault if they get raped? In the second segment shown here, Rick Ross (of the Rick Ross Institute listed in the resources on the sidebar of this page) and a counselor from "Fundamentalists Anonymous" compare and contrast "Exit Counseling" versus the antiquated practice of "Deprogramming", even though the Geraldo show identifies exit counseling as deprogramming on their graphics and the guests refer to it in this terminology.

The gentleman from Fundamentalists Anonymous describes contemporary exit counseling, though Rick Ross essentially agrees with him. In the next post on this topic, I will include the segment that contains the testimony of the young woman featured here who was raped by a staff member at her church. (She was at fault primarily "because she was the woman.") I will then post all the segments together in one post for future and easy reference.


 

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Video on Spiritual Abuse and Mind Control

All seven segments of the Geraldo Rivera Show discussing Mind Control and Spiritual Abuse in Evangelical Fundamentalist churches.

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What Goes on In the Soul of Those Who Abuse For the Cause of the Greater Good?

What Goes On in the Soul

of the Spiritual Abuser?

This question, more than any, other troubled me very much as I healed and continue to heal from my realization of spiritual abuse.

Delving deep to find these answers perhaps impeded my own healing in some ways, though after many years of pursing true forgiveness, I believe I also needed to search out the answers for my own well-being and acceptance. When one has been deeply wounded, I believe it is natural to ask questions about why someone was motivated or why they neglected to notice how profoundly they wounded us. I found it troubling to realize that there were essentially no simple answers to these questions.

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The Awe Inspiring Height of the Greater Good: Who Becomes a Spiritual Abuser?

To point out the powerful influence of the ideology of the greater good, I ask the reader here who is likely familiar with it to consider the "ethos of family" that has sought to overtake the homeschooling community in recent years. Think about that mix of American nationalism, Christian principle and love of wholesome living and the joy of family that comprises patriocentricity as somewhat analogous to this following statement.

Pay attention to what you feel as you read this passage from Robert Lifton and ask yourself if it sounds like a foreign concept.

I’ve taken out key terms and replaced them with ones that typify homeschooling and the ethos of family.

"Consider the more or less typical homeschooler, interested in patriarchy, who sought from the movement a form of national renewal; who laughed at the more extreme claims of the hard-line complementarians in the gender debate but was drawn to "Biblical manhood" with its emphasis on Christian unity; who considered the Christian faith generally superior, and feared ecumenism; who considered himself a rational rather than a fanatical homeschooler and was critical of the growing number and prominence of women in leadership in Christian churches; who had not marched in the streets with the more zealous homeschoolers but came to offer them obedience and service in exchange for social significance and a sense of Christian unity; who volunteered no great personal sacrifice on behalf of the cause of "Biblical family" but respected those who did; and who sought maximum professional and personal success within this newly dominant national movement. Such a homeschooler, despite a seemingly restrained relationship to ideology, could experience the mystical power of the Christian family ethos. He could also respond in some degree to the call of militant fecundity."

Now, read the original passage that describes the process of the acceptance of a foreign ideology and ethos from page 434 of Lifton’s book:

"Consider the more or less typical Nazi doctor who sought from the movement a form of national renewal; who laughed at the more extreme claims of the Nazi racial party but was drawn to "scientific racism" with its emphasis on German unity; who considered the Nordic race generally superior, and feared racial mixture; who considered himself a rational rather than a fanatical anti-Semite and was critical of the number and prominence of Jewish doctors in German cities; who had not marched in the streets with the Nazis but came to offer them obedience and service in exchange for rank and military uniform; who volunteered no great personal sacrifice on behalf of the Nazi cause but respected those who did; and who sought maximum professional and personal success within this newly dominant national movement. Such a doctor, despite a seemingly restrained relationship to ideology, could experience the mystical power of the German-Nazi ethos. He could also respond in some degree to the call of Auschwitz."

Lifton points out that doctors were especially vulnerable to these influences within the Nazi system because of their professions prepared them to be prideful. Doctors also become somewhat adept at learning to separate their personal emotions from intimidating or disturbing aspects of their work and from intimacy with their patients. They likely had pre-existing idealistic reasons for pursing medicine that could be tapped and manipulated as well. So they provide an interesting subject for study of the psychology of ideology and how it can twist us.

Here, we have men reaching for that which is greater and higher and more than what they are in and of themselves. Each passage sounds a similar call to nationalism and unity. The dynamics of the ideology of man – any ideology whether Biblically-based or fascist – all eventually degrade into some form of ideological totalism, something that Christianity clearly does not advocate.

The end never justifies the means. It is through a drift into legalism and the traditions of men that such good outward signs of a life dedicated to the Lord become corrupt. And because of human nature, all systems become corrupt in similar fashion. The deadly logic of the sacred science eventually overtakes all that is good and the end justifies whatever means necessary to accomplish the idealistic goals when pursued apart from mature, balanced service to God. When the greater good becomes greater in our hearts than anything else and out of balance, we can be so easily pulled off course.

Second quote taken from Robert Lifton's

"The Nazi Doctors: Medical Killing and the Psychology of Genocide"

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"Why Was It My Fault? Because I Was The Lady."

Four minutes into this video, a young woman describes her experience in an Evangelical church where she, at age 16, was raped by a member of the church staff. She refused to go to law enforcement at her mothers encouragement and went to her pastor instead. Hoping to find someone who would be a caring shepherd, an advocate and a protector, her pastor told her to "keep her mouth shut."

She describes how she was found to be at fault for her own rape because she desired to have a boyfriend. (It sounds so reminiscent of the things that I heard Bill Gothard say and the types of immature arguements offered by those who followed Gothard's teachings.)




As I mentioned in a recent post, in my former cultic church, whenever there was an issue in a marriage, leadership percieved issues of sin in the lives of husbands to be a response to the wife's refusal of his authority or her lack of care for his needs. If there was a marital problem and a wife approached the elders to confront her husband, it was incumbent upon that woman to prove that she had not created a situation that caused her husband to sin.

I also recall Jen Epstein's account of her experience at Boerne Christian Assembly where it was always assumed that a wife was "the squeaky wheel" in the relationship. I know this to be sadly true based on my observations in my own, Gothard and Shepherding/Discipleship influenced church.

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The Selling of an Idea

The topic of language gets into deep philosophical territory, and some of the best theorists have humanistic views, so looking at language itself gets pretty self limiting. I think the thought reform idea/model of a person being comprised of three components (thought, emotion and behavior) is more helpful, as our language and thought is affected by our emotion and our behavior, and no one element can be severed apart from the other.

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First Documented Occurance of Thought Reform, "Loaded Language" and Spiritual Abuse

From a reader:

“I am going to have to process this deeply. I have really gotten convicted about the loaded language and how much I have allowed it to define the debate.”

“Cindy, I would love to see you expand upon the use of words to redefine people’s beliefs. This is becoming more and more clear to me. I can see how just using the word ‘feminists’ redefines the conversation. All of a sudden one feels compelled to prove they are not a feminists and before they know it, they have aligned themselves with their views.”

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What's In a Uniform?

In the third "thatmom" Podcast concerning Spiritual Abuse, the topic of the “uniform” of the homeschooling mom came up in the discussion.

As a consequence of social proof, Karen quickly identified the significance of this element of group behavior that was once used as an indicator of the type of homeschooling mom a person might be. Expanding upon that topic, I wanted to add some additional ideas to ponder about the other, powerful affects of uniforms themselves on human behavior.

Uniforms and dress convey a high degree of psychological power and greatly affect the conduct and thought one who wears a uniform. The practical considerations of uniforms help us cut through the mental work and confusion, allowing us to quickly and readily identify people in everyday life. But there is an additional effect that extends beyond the purposes of rapid identification of individuals that most people do not consider.

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What is "Damage Control" within a Spiritually Abusive System?

Damage Control is a term that was originally coined and used by maritime industries, probably originating in the Merchant Marines or navy, describing emergency measures to prevent the sinking of a ship. The language and theory of management borrowed the term to describe measures that can be taken to contain problems that might threaten a particular project.

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Beware the Love Bomb!

In “thatmom’s” latest Podcast, Part III of our discussion of Spiritual Abuse, Karen and I mentioned the term “love bombing,” and discussion of this one element of Thought Reform could encompass an entire Podcast itself. So I’d like to explain additional details and information about “love bombing” as a concept that can help you be much more objective when you encounter this technique.

…and you will.

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Blogging the Matrix

Wake up, Neo!
Right-brained creatures like me like to find analogies to explain and convey information, understanding, connotation and emotion to others.

When communicating what the realization of my spiritual abuse experience was like, I identify best with the “Matrix” films. Like “Neo” was before “Trinity” and “Morpheus” make contact with him, both my husband and I knew something was desperately wrong with our church, but we just didn’t have all the adequate language to articulate it in its fullness.

It was, as Morpheus describes, the “splinter in the mind” that drove us mad. As time progressed and as we sought out help and wisdom, our first visit to our Exit Counselor together was very much the “taking of the red pill” and awakening in a world that seemed bleak and colorless for quite some time.

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An Example of Lifton's "Doctrine Over Person" at Work

The Doctrine Over Person technique of thought reform requires that members of the group subjugate their own experiences to fit the desired group model, and they often will redefine their own histories in order to comply. Usually this takes place through social mentoring, pressure and the direct/indirect requests by leadership, but it can take place in other ways as well.

Watch Derren Brown use a technique of NeuroLinguistic Programing to convince a subject to redefine his own perceptions, wants and desires through use of a technique called "anchoring." This is perhaps one of the most powerful techniques used in hypnotherapy and is often referred to as a type of "waking hypnosis." Watch how Brown grabs the subject's right wrist to establish his authority and then "anchors" his subtle suggestions by touching the subject's left arm repeatedly as he speaks to him.

This technique may not be used by the patriocentrics to "anchor" their moral imperatives and their doctrines, but this demonstrates how easy it is for a skilled person to surreptitiously influence their thinking. In this example, one can see "Doctrine Over Person" at work. The manipulator influences the subject to accept his "doctrine" by one of many available techniques that manipulators and salesmen have done since the beginning of time.

Resisting manipulation starts with knowledge about the techniques of manipulation.

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