Saturday, February 22, 2014

Truth Stranger than Fiction? Who Cares? Enjoy Some Humor. The Viking Apocalypse is Imminent, so Bite Me!

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous

Actually, this is just a post about some great stuff that others have already addressed, and there's no point trying to reiterate what others have stated so well.

The Truth

Click to link to orig post
At first blush, this looks like satire, but it isn't. A Southern Baptist Theological Seminary graduate named Steven Furtick who rubs shoulders with The Elect (TM) apparently distributes a coloring book to small children at his church to begin early spiritually abusive indoctrination. I wonder if they discipline little ones for failing to color inside the lines? 

I laughed and thought at first that perhaps a parent decided to scribble over The VisionaryTM. I loved the BBC Open Forum's commentary about the matter, so I invite you to visit and read more about it there. (I believe that the first notable source of the information appears HERE.)

From Grooming Young Cult Members: 
If that's the mark of a leader, of someone with that uncanny ability, then I'm at a loss to explain people like Furtick, Perry Noble, Ed Young, and yes, Steve Gaines. Because I don't find any of these men (or the dozens like them) charming or possessing a shred of personal magnetism. Quite the contrary, I find their narcissism and ham-fisted bullying a total turnoff. But assuming, and this must be true because they have hundreds, even thousands, of staunch defenders, thatsomeone out there must view them as possessing that magic thing called "charisma," then the question arises, why do some people view these men as "charismatic" and blindly and enthusiastically follow them while others, myself included, see them for the scary cult leaders they are? What turns seemingly discerning people into rabid cheerleaders for the self-appointed man-o-gawd and his "vision"?
Please read the full posting HERE. 
Click image to enlarge

...And the Fiction

I actually found a satirical spoof of this before I saw reporting of the genuine article – what I'm calling “fiction” here tonight. I found this little ditty through a link to “Pastor Jeff Breakfast” on Facebook.

More Humor

  • Prose. I am a bit sleep deprived, and the sensitive reader will likely find it offensive, but given all of the spiritualization of anything having to do with normal physiology and gender and sex and procreation in Fundamentalism, I found this post on The Onion to be amusing. My first job as an RN at the tender age of nineteen was in the hospital setting, caring for urology patients. As a nurse and a Christian, I do not find it offensive, but some might, depending on their background. [You know, a guy who attended Doug Phillips' church once told me that I was pervert for doing this kind of work as a woman. Oh, the stories I can tell. But that's another subject for another day...] (HT to RLStollar)
  • Visual. An unnamed person in Washington State snapped this little ditty. It should need no explanation for those who are familiar with Mark Driscoll. (Attributed to a friend of Justin Hanvey.)

The Viking Apocalypse

The end is very near, and most of you won't find out until it's over if it's all over...

Alleged experts who likely had something to do with the Brits who planned the Jorvik Viking Festival this year have discerned that Ragnaroc, the Viking Apocalypse, will occur in just a few hours (at the time of this writing). Boy, I wish I had a widget to embed the live timer.

If you're not a devoted Monty Python or Tim Robbins fanatic and never watched Eric the Viking, here's a video that gives a general overview. (Oh wait. I forgot about the Thor films. That said, Branagh disappointed me. I wish that he'd just stick to Shakespeare.) 

If the Ragnaroc prediction turns out to be true , here are some survival tips from the sages.

Bite Me!

I loved this post! Please read the actual post and please do not react to the title of it until you read the context. 

 To quote The Elect (TM):“A text without a context is a pretext for a proof text.”

From A Gentle and Quiet Spirit Can Bite Me by Erna at Feisty Thoughts: 
It upsets me to my core when intelligent, courageous, gifted young women are given a picture of being a woman that essentially sounds like a version of a Disney movie. You are waiting to be told you’re beautiful, rescued by Jesus, after which you will sit quietly near a candle with your journal, and your spirituality will be analogous to a spa experience at all times. 
I don’t need a spa like spirituality. I am out there everyday trying to help the next generation love Jesus, love the Bible, engage cross culturally, and experience deep inner healing from almost incompressible sins committed against them. I am preaching counter culturally against consumerism, materialism, and upward mobility- a prophetic gospel of downward mobility and sacrificial love for the poor. In response to Jesus’ love and in the name of Jesus, I am preaching, leading, training, praying, and pleading with the body of Christ to engage cross culturally. My spirituality is rigorous, vigorous, rough and tumble, and requires courage, love, passion, and vision. I need to go to the spa when I’m done kicking ass for the Kingdom.

Come back to read more if we're all still here. Time will tell. ;)