Friday, July 4, 2008

The Illusion of the Idealized Parent: Adams on Covert Incest (?"Botkin Syndrome"?)

Series of posts about Covert Incest from “Silently Seduced” by Kenneth Adams. Exploring the dynamics of covert (emotional or non-sexual but gender-related) incest.
Consider his writings to determine for yourself whether Adams description applies to the “daughterhood movement” concepts of children giving their hearts to their fathers as advocated by the Botkins and patriocentrists (?“Botkin Syndrome”?).

From page 46:

[Following a case study of a young woman named “Vickie”]

Vickie had kept [her pain and rage] behind her illusion that her daddy was “all good and loving.” Children who are abused have no choice but to create a false illusory image of the abusing parent. This enables them to believe they are loved. Children need to believe they are loved at any cost, much as they need food and water. For this reason, children who are severely abused are always willing to follow and love the abusing parent.

From page 56:

Playing the role of a surrogate spouse to both parents is devastating, perhaps the most tormenting of the situations presented so far. The result is a loss of clear identity. One's inner life feels empty and agonized. Awareness of feelings, choices, preferences, wants and desires is lost under a deep sense of worthlessness and inadequacy. Outwardly, these women seem to be able to do it all. They also are capable emotional caretakers of others. They leave the impression that they have few cares of their own, and if they do, they handle them just fine. Yet there is great pain in the experience of self for these women. They have contempt for their own femininity and fear men as well.

Excerpts from