Friday, July 18, 2008
Announcing the "Overcoming Botkin Syndrome" Site discussing Emeshment and Covert/Emotional Incest
I never intended for "Botkin Syndrome" to take off as a descriptive term for the enmeshment and dysfunctional family dynamics that the followers of Patriocentricity describe in great detail! It was a tongue-in-cheek comment. But... I have been overwhelmed to say the least by comments from people in favor of the term and the dynamics described that I think it is here to stay.
Of ALL the material that I've posted online in the past concerning spiritual abuse, I have received more POSITIVE feedback about this Botkin Syndrome information than all the other feedback combined. There is so much more to add to what I've posted here, so I set up another blogger site with these previous posts and MORE, MORE, MORE on this disturbing but relevant issue, a peripheral effect of spiritual abuse. I finally reordered a fantastic Christian book that touches on this topic, and I will present that material in a new series of posts on the "Overcoming Botkin Syndrome" Blog. If this material has been helpful to you, there is much more material there (with topical tags) and with much more to come.
I've really been blessed by the feedback from many who have grown up in families where their undying devotion to the desires of their parents has hurt their relationships with God, their own spouses and their own kids. I've also heard from spouses who, rather than the two becoming one in their marriage with their spouse, they feel more like the third wheel in the pre-existing relationship with their in law. I know personally that these struggles pose a terrible burden on a marriage, and the stakes seem to only get higher as one gets older. (I always thought that the opposite was true, but after 18 years of marriage, that has not been the case in my exeprience.) I've also heard feedback from many who have been raised in "homeschooled homes" where the boundaries between family members have been so weak that sexual (overt) incest did take place. And I am ever reminded of my two dear friends who experienced incest in their Christian families in the '60s and '70s, when there were no resources available to them.
In the next coming weeks on "Overcoming Botkin Syndrome," I will post information from Dr. David Stoop's writings on this topic, an associate of John Townsend, Henry Cloud, Frank Minerth, Paul Meier, Chris Thurman, and Steve Arterburn (many of whom appear on that "Forgiveness" widget in my sidebar here). Stoop has authored three books on forgiveness and healing our "triangulated" relationships in family, and I look forward to offering them there on the other site. (I may put the really good stuff about forgiveness over here as well!)
For those of you who may have been reading here from time to time and did not experience anything like "Botkin Syndrome," I ask that you would pray that many people who have been thus effected by the effects of sin and preference in their families. Especially pray for those who experience these kinds of issues in Christian families where the teachings attributing "priority to men" only magnify the potential for deep wounds, falsely legitimized by the integrity of the Word of God. There are so many in need of prayer and compassion. Please pray for wisdom and guidance for me as well concerning this sensitive issue for those both inside and outside of the Faith. (Pray that it will become a tool of evangelism as well; I have been picking up traffic from those inquiring about the general topic and I pray that it might also be a grand opportunity to share Jesus with those in great need of knowledge of His love and saving grace.)
And note the widget showing recent posts from this new site!