Monday, June 30, 2008

More on Daddy's Little Girl: Adams on Covert Incest (?"Botkin Syndrome"?)

The following is a post from the "thatmom: real encouragement for real homeschooling moms" blog. It followed after a long discussion of enmeshment and inappropriate fixations on gender within the patriarchy movement. It is nearly all the way at the bottom of the thread entitled

the great divide: patriocentrists on one side, thinking women on the other.

The blog does not allow linking to specific comments, but at this time, this comment appears at the very end of the list of comments on this thread. I draw attention to it because it sounds very much like the passage that I quoted from Adams in my previous post discussing "Daddy's Little Girl."

Thanks to "Anne2" who was so kind to find this for me, pointing it out to me on the True Womanhood website. It is another example of "covert" or non-sexual but gender related incest between a father and daughter in the "Family Integrated Church" movement.

Anne wrote @ June 2, 2008 at 5:25 pm:
We are exiled to Christ. If anything this stuff should remind us to focus on Him. Where that leads can be the painful part. I suspect in the patrios mad leap to focus on being, well, patrios and all the things they “do” to show and display their patriocity; the whole begins to appear lopsided and not right to onlookers.

About 15 years ago I was at a wedding with patrios leanings. I felt embarassed when during the ceremony the father made a big deal about how his daughter was a virgin and blah, blah, blah. She was a blushing bride, for all the wrong reasons.

In the previous week the bride’s mother had pulled out some lingerie to show me, that the father gave the daughter. It had been purchased by the father and was a gift for the wedding night. I remember thinking, “How tacky is this?” The mother then said, “you know, it shows that her father, thinks this is ok, that she can have sex with her new husband.” I just got the willies and thought where the heck was this family’s sense of propriety?

I have the same assessment when viewing you tube videos of patriarch weddings and reading some of the vows some have taken, and their constant display of look at us doing this here biblical stuff.

It becomes a display of poor taste and bad manners with their incessant pushing of this new righteousness. Interestingly, in their desire to be seen as so biblical, they fall into appearing to have as bad as taste as the ungodly. At this same girl’s bridal shower, an unsaved woman gave her a teapot. The woman then shouted, “Open the pot, open the pot!” Upon which the bride-to-be pulled out a pair of lacy panties, another woman then reached for them and slingshot them through the air into the room full of besmirched and hysterical women.

Who is tackier?

And who says these guys have the market cornered on how to be a “biblical” family or “biblical” anything for that matter?

Anne adds to this on True Womanhood after I inquired about whether anyone remembered where I could find the post:
“Does anyone remember a post on thatmom mentioning an FIC father that bought underwear or a nightgown for his daughter for her honeymoon?”
That was me....
I also want to add not only did the father of the bride go on and on about his daughter being a virgin and how the couple had never kissed, the pastor who took the wedding, also belaboured the point in his wedding charge. To date, it has been the most embarrassing public event I have ever witnessed. At the reception the bride’s parents got up in front of everyone and embarrassed her again when dad literally swept his wife off her feet bent over backwards kissing, while someone shouted, “Show ‘em how it’s done!” Poor girl.